Saturday, January 5, 2013

You know, the Usual

Just a little note.  I am already editing page 100, which is just like three and half pages shy of half way, which is almost exactly 30,000 words, as the draft I am editing now turned out to be 60,048 words, which was pretty close to the ideal.  I am not sure how many words this is going to turn out.  Significantly less, say, 52-54,000 words.  It has to be above 50,000 for the contest.

To be honest I am not completely sold on the name yet.  I do feel is is close but not exactly.  I think I am going to think about the themes some more, at least the really broad, main themes, so I have kind of a wide range of different possibilities and it is purposefully vague.  ON THE OTHER HAND  I could instead go for the exact opposite, or more of the opposite  route and go for the exact specific main encapsulating idea and really drive it home with the name.  The name could in fact say it all.  But then it's just a name.  Or could be criticized to be just a name.  Why read the rest?  The name says it all.  Something like Hunger of Fortune, which sounds like a name of something.  I am sure it is.  In spite of being a literature person I have a very specific taste.  Sometimes I think that makes me less well read, but I like to really think about and reread the books that I read.  Really take them apart and analyze them to their last thread.  I feel developing a really firm understanding of a text is more important, which is why I like to go for all the really multiple-layered books.

Sometimes I stick to what the spell-check says is correct, even if I don't always agree with it necessarily.  I just figure that if it does mean what I intend it to mean then it must be right.  Sometimes I make minor grammatical errors, and it's usually because I am hurrying and not thinking enough about what I am doing.  On the other-hand it also occurs because I am over-thinking it.  Sometimes what I do isn't as grammatically incorrect as it is clumsy and too unintentionally vague.  Sometimes what I write is just plain unintelligible, even if I technically understood what I mean at the time and later forgot and couldn't understand on a second or a third or a 15th read-through.

Sometimes I arbitrarily follow AP-style rules because they were so in-grained into my psyche at one point in my life.  I feel it is the most appropriate style for a blog.  That's why I try to keep my paragraphs shorter.  Sometimes I feel like my paragraphs are too long and I go back through and shorten or split them.

Sometimes I am just lazy and don't go back through.  I try to be more professional than that on a regular basis.

I am sorry.  I am really in-deep in the process itself right now that I subconsciously start talking about it and forget what I had originally intended to write this blog about.

That's why I usually don't have any preconceived notions about what it will be about, which is why it is often long and rambling, like it is now.

I will avoid the urge to start talking to myself parenthetically.

Sometimes I just practice how the words will look aesthetically and don't really think a lot about the deeper meaning.  So I guess that kind of makes this an experiment on style.  Really it is one long intertwining series of experiments.

On the other-hand, it is entirely free for my audience (provided they have internet in some fashion for other or general purposes), so they can't really complain too much.  And if they hate it enough they can really just stop reading it.  Maybe I shouldn't say that but, well, whatever.  I am not really into deleting right now.  In fact, I am opposed to it, at this moment, except for typos.  Even if what I say comes out awkwardly.  I feel like it is mostly right on point, well, except that it is disjointed and there is no universal meaning, there is meaning to each of it's different parts, which makes it kind of more like a chain than a thread.

Sometimes I just have to write a small paragraph after a large one.


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