Wednesday, December 30, 2015

A Relatively Short Blog Post with a Shameless-But-Necessary Monty Python Reference and a Title That is (Relatively) Almost as Long as is the Post Itself

I often write blog posts when I am procrastinating. It's not like I sit down here with the intention of doing it, but it happens.

In a way, they act as a good primer to me actually sitting down and working on a novel or a short story. It's also good insurance, because if I talk about it here, then I kind of have to get it done; otherwise, I look like a jackass.

Maybe I do anyways, I don't know. I am sure there are some out there who think that.

*Thumbs nose at those people*

As a primer, though, it is like taking a shit before going to eat an expensive restaurant.

I will let you use your imagination on that one. Otherwise, I would probably be forced to fire myself as the blogger and replace myself with 40 Specially Trained Ecuadorian Mountain Llamas.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Booking Marketing...Or Lack Thereof

Shortly after Scott Weiland died, I started writing a blog post about Stone Temple Pilots being my first concert, but the point seems moot now, so it will probably never see the light of day.

Today I am writing in honor of nothing but own shameless self promotion, because that is the name of the game.

You have to really whore yourself out to get any hype.

Luckily, I am not above that. I like skiing in those waters; although, I confess, I try not to let myself get submerged for very long. Otherwise, I might black out and wake up forty years from now, and find myself some sad old guy in a tux hitting on college girls I never had a change with when I was that age, either.

No, I can't let that happen.

Instead, I will make up for my lack of ability by calling it art and pretending it's sacred. My hope is that some day I will start to believe my own bullshit and get trapping in my own fantasy-delusion once and for all.

Oh Hell, who am I kidding? I have been submerged in those brown waters my whole life. Maybe that actually does make it art. If I am delusional, at least I am honest.