Thursday, March 28, 2013

Take Your Pick

Endless Vacation (In My Mind)

Really coming up with some great ideas right now.  Can't wait to put the best ones in action.  Feeling really inspired.  Really expanding my world right now in a big way.  The characters and the story are coming alive in a way they never have.  Very excited.

Very happy with how Tales from the Fringes is turning out.  There is still three stories that I wish I could include here, but they are all unavailable, which is in itself a good thing.  One is going to be published, the others are hopefully under consideration.

Very excited for everyone to read the final product of Tales, which is hopefully, probably, most likely only a few weeks away!  Just got the word back that they have accepted my changes and I can now order another proof.  This will be polishing.  Making it all shiny and new and perfect (enough).

Starting to get back into my schoolwork again, too.  This vacation can't last forever.  :-(

This music video has to do with my novel, and I won't explain it anymore than that.

A New Beginning

While it doesn't seem like it should be an easy decision to make, starting over on my first novel is the right way to go -- not because I am not proud of what I have written so far, it just has too many problems that no amount of rewrites will fix.  I have tried to morph it into something better than it can be, and now I have to stop fooling myself and do what I have, in times of frustration, wanted to do for years.

On the bright side, however, I am salvaging parts of the story -- in essence I am taking the best 30-40 pages and hyper-focusing on it for 60-70,000 words.  My goal is to paint a vast, complex picture of a young adult trying to deal with some traumas while spending the summer on a farm half a state away with distant relatives, where he meets somebody who might make it all worth it, if he is not too blind to notice.

I am confident that I can write a draft of this by the end of the summer.  I am taking it as a personal challenge to use the ideas that manifested in the first trial, and work them in a more plausible, more focused, highly detailed way.  The scope of my previous try was too large.  The details were too small, too brief, too disjointed.

In addition, now I know my genre -- at least for this book.  It is a YA novel, a coming of age story.  It has always been the latter, but I had never settled on the former.  It makes a whole lot of sense for me, and, although I have research to do, I feel like it should have been this all along.

It's good that I know this.  Even if it did come at the price of six years of work.  I feel like I could not have reached this point if I had not been through everything I have been through.

My goal is to write as good of a novel as I can, and if that means starting over, then I am perfectly willing to do it.  I have long know there are a lot of problems with my manuscript, and the same ones seem to surface in different ways, no matter what I have done.

To get a professional criticism and confirm all this -- but also that I have potential -- is a step in the right direction.  I wish I had sent it to her sooner, but, I can't live my life dwelling on something like that.  I must continue looking towards the future.

In the meantime I am going to put out this short story collection, Tales from the Fringes, and see what kind of audience I can build.  I will focus on school and settling into a career in education.

I don't really see it as a step back as much as a humbling.  Life is a learning experience and when I lose track of that I get discouraged.  I don't have time to get discouraged.  I can only move forward.

On the bright side, I already know this story inside and out.  It will take discipline, research, and planning, to write a new manuscript, but I anticipate the writing process going more smoothly this time around.  Everything that I lacked when I first started writing fictions I now have.  Looking back on my first writings, I have come an impossible long way.  Now it's time to take all that knowledge and the skills I have developed, and this world and these characters I have created, and put it all together.


Tentative Title (since the focus of the book is shifting, the title has to change): Outside the Garden
Goal Length: 72,000 words
Genre: Young Adult Literature

Synopsis: Lance Adamson goes to stay for the summer on his uncle's farm near the small, central Ohio town, Babel, to escape the recent suicide of his best friend Art, as well as other ghosts.  There he meets Evie, his only ally.  With her help, Lance tries to begin the healing process and avoid being sucked into the Nimrod Evangelical Temple and the preachings of Pastor Lee Charles, who has virtually everyone else in town under his control.


Like I said, this is essentially a 30-40 page chunk of my book that I am hyper-focusing on.  I have written beginning two pages, and, I am really excited to continue.  I can tell even by the fact that I am able to write a synopsis of it that I am in much better shape that I ever have been.

Everything is coming together.  Not in the way I was imagining that it would, but, this way seems more plausible.  My gut instinct tells me I am making the right choice.  I am excited to be thrown back into the creative process, which, for me, is the best part of all of this.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Updated Information on Tales from the Fringes

All information is tentative; however, less tentative than before.  Probably won't change too much.  I have submitted to Create Space Again.  When they approve it, I will print another proof, and go through it one more time.  My goal is to not have to change anything but typos.  Hopefully there aren't too many.  I will announce an exact release date soon (should definitely be by May 1).

Price: $7.99 paperback; $4.99 e-book
6" x 9"
15 stories/154 pages

ISBN-13: 978-1482787474
ISBN-10: 1482787474
BISAC  Category: Fiction/Short Story

Whether it's working at a McDonald's and playing in a band in "Greasy", mugging people to pay a violent drug dealer in "Survival", or accidentally starting the Zombie Apocalypse in "The Bananamen Prophecy", Tales from the Fringes finds people struggling through a variety of situations, with mixed results.  Mainly set in the Midwest, these stories capture the essence of what it's like to live on the fringes, where money is hard to come by, sex is often an obsession or a compulsion, and people are more often than not completely invisible to the outside world, and to each other.

Monday, March 25, 2013


Riffing on Life, Success, and What-not

FYI, I have been working on finishing up Tales from the Fringes.  I can't wait to share it with everybody when it's done.  It just keeps getting better and better.  Still not worried about the deadline I have set for myself.  We'll see when it gets to be closer to the time.  I am definitely getting better at doing things at the last minute.  Although, I am *hoping* that it will not come down to the last mine this time.  The music is a lot of fun, but it is more of a hobby.

I am hoping my skills as an editor are improving, since I am practicing it every day now at school.  I am constantly reading and analyzing and interpreting and picking everything apart to the minutia.  I hope that at least is evident in the final product.  I am hoping to have no typos.  We'll see whether that actually happens or not.  That is, if anything, going to just take diligence on my part.  The editing process is repetitive, but the more times I go through these stories the better they get.  I think they work well together, too.  There are definitely elements of the last three or four years of my life in these stories, and then some.  I am growing in confidence the more I work on it.  Next I have to concern myself with marketing and sales.  Put on the business man face -- but that won't come until I am sure these stories are the best I can make them right now.  I have always intended to have my book done by now, but it hasn't happened yet.

Now I at least know the direction I need to go with it.  I know what to hone in on and where to take it.  I am developing a plan, a strategy, taking the best section of it and making that section the basis of the entire book, adding in every scrap of detail I can muster.  I have never felt entirely comfortable with this book, and now I have the confidence I need to do what I need to do with the story to actually finish it for once and for all -- even though that means going back to the drawing board, developing a detailed plan, and starting all over.

I have been planning on doing that with my second book, so why not take the same approach I have developed over the past several years, apply it to this book that has been getting better but still not as better as I want it to be.  I am happy with what I have written, proud of myself for having written it, and can't wait to see what I can do with what I have.  I have some great, solid suggestions, and I am going to trust my instinct and take it to the next level.

Things are really coming together, maybe not in the way I thought, but in a way that I can work with and grow with and get to where I want to be, whenever that happens.  I am, after all, still a student.  I will always be a student; I won't always officially be a student, but I will never cease to learn and grow, and neither should anyone else.  Life could be far worse, I have a lot going for me, and I am more ambitious than ever.  But mere ambition won't get me ahead.  Not without hard work.

This time around it won't take me years.  I am fully committed to push myself and get it done.  Not that I am trying to force it, but, I know it is there inside me, suspicions, feelings I have been feeling have been confirmed.  Time to take it to the next level.  Really it is both Tales from the Fringes and my first novel, which is more of a them.  In the immediate sense it is the short story collection, the next it is the novel,  the overall it is my writing.  I need to start working on that school work I planned on doing over break; I need to get busy doing that extra reading I intended to do, and add on top of that some fresh research -- which will like affect my school too.  I mean, why not teach more contemporary literature, more contemporary Young Adult literature.

I still firmly believe that things happen for a reason, and, when I have been most successful and most happy in my life, I have trusted that belief and gone with it, which is why I can't become too complacent.  I must continue to grow, continue to ebb and flow, always keeping the same final result in mind.    Basically it's all about learning, and I am learning a lot about myself, if nothing else.  And at least I am turning out to be the type of person I can fall asleep with at night.  Some nights I just like to stay up late, get an early start on the next day and then fall asleep.  I haven't been able to do that for a while.  Okay, that's a lie, but now I can do it free of guilt because I am on Spring Break, and this year I can truly let loose and enjoy it.  I just enjoy it by challenging myself to stay true to myself and reach for my dreams.

For now, look for my short story collection, Tales from the Fringes, very soon.

Friday, March 22, 2013



And not just any Friday, but the Friday before Spring Break!  While I will definitely be keeping myself busy over the week, I don't have class or work, so my schedule is what I make it!

Still proofreading, tweaking the format and editing.  Since I have changed the spacing, indentation, and the font to make it look more professional, with the twelve stories I originally planned to published in it, I will only have about 100 pages.

So I am going to include three more previously unreleased stories, bringing the grand total up to fifteen.  It will be approximately 140 pages, and I will likely lower the price when I finalize it all.  I am still planning on releasing it by May.

The addition of these stories won't substantially increase the amount of work I have to do to get it publishing ready.  More details to come.  As I work on it and it gets better and better, both the stories, the design, and the typesetting, the more excited I get.  I can't wait to release this to you all.

Also, I *think* I have figured out the formatting problems I was having with the e-book format.  *fingers crossed*

While I am figuring out everything while putting together and preparing Tales from the Fringes for official publication, I have also begun formatting and typesetting my first novel, Out in the Garage, for a late-summer/early fall release. 

The more I think about it, the more I work towards it, the more my DIY mentality takes over, and the more I want to lean toward self-publishing.  The trick is in being able to market and sell my products on the Internet to a wide enough audience, which is the next step in the process.  Either way, I feel like it suites me.  I like the idea that I can do my own thing in my own way.

Especially if it is an ideology or an ethos, as long as there is people who don't want to take all the mass media corporate bullshit, the it will never die.

Some might say, "But Gabe, you are using the products of a large corporation, doesn't that make you a hypocrite?"

My reply?  Not when I have complete creative control.  And fuck off.  If anything, I am using the corporate mass media to get my stories, ideas, philosophies out to people I don't have the means to otherwise reach.  It's not like I have some dictator standing over my back telling me what to write.  I am my own dictator, goddammit.  Also, I am not trying to get rich, I am just trying to create the means to continue doing it.

Besides, most writers don't make a living writing.  That's why I'm in school.  That's why I will get a job after school and work towards paying off the debt I have incurred.  I would rather do it myself on my own terms -- if the outcome is going to be the same either way.

It's time to embrace the future, because the future is now, and I am not getting any younger or smarter.

Look at the Descendents.  Those guys all have like PhD.s and shit now, and they are still fucking awesome.

It's not about making money, it's about doing what I love.  Self-publishing is the way to go.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


They came today!  Very excited! Doing the last run through and then putting it out by May 1 (also in e-book format).  More info to come soon.    

Monday, March 18, 2013

The Big Announcement!!!

Happy Monday!  Hope everyone doesn't have too much of a hangover from the weekends festivities.  I know I somehow manage to escape any traces of a hangover, except for maybe the lethargy. I know after Saturday night (which was a blast!!!) I went to bed early and slept in a little this morning and feel pretty good.

I know I have alluded to this moment for a few weeks now, and may have lead you all to believe that it probably wouldn't be happening for a while.  Indeed, I didn't think it would be happening for a while.  However, last week, after I had gotten through my crazy week of papers and what-not for school, I decided to throw some caution in the wind and start working towards it.  After all, I told myself, I already have the stories.  I already have them together in a collection.  I have already edited them (some of them have been edited a lot over the last few years, some of them hardly at all since they were first written).

 I logged onto my Create Space, and began reading, and then, with my ambition pushing me to put my money where my mouth is (both literally and figuratively), and started designing the cover, and the interior of the book.  I have spent the weekend fine-tuning, and I should be, hopefully today, receiving the proofs to my very first, self-published SHORT-STORY COLLECTION!  I am still working on everything, but to design and put it together (and for basic distribution) was free.  I set my prices (and subsequently paid a little extra for the expanded distribution so I get it into a wider range of markets) and will be doing some heavy promotion (which will cost me for promotional copies and postage to send them to reviewers).  Once I get my finalized version I will be announcing a release date for both print and e-book versions.

Here is what the cover looks like:

ISBN-13: 978-1482787474

I wanted to keep the design simple and ambiguous, and I only had a limited range of options (for free), but I feel like I met those two goals.  Anyways, the collection is 185 pages and is tentatively going to be $9.99 for the paperback and $5.99 for the e-book version.  I am still working on the distribution, but it will be on Amazon, Create Space (of course), and a multitude of other outlets (which I will get a full list of when it becomes available).  My goal was to design it to look as professional as possible, and I am very happy with the design of the paperback.  I am still working on the e-book format, which is harder (due to file conversion problems).  Anyways, many of these stories have been tested on this blog (you will notice they are no longer there...Sorry, but I will be posting more free stories in the future), and I will release the final list soon.  I will let you all know when everything is finalized and when I officially release it for sale.  This is a very exciting time for me as I test the waters of the self-publishing market and see how it works and if I can have enough success at it to try it with future projects.

To sum everything up:

TITLE: Tales from the Fringes
TYPE: Short Story Collection
GENRE: fiction -- short stories/satire
FORMATS: paperback and e-book
LENGTH: 185 pages (tentatively)
PRICE (tentative): $9.99 for paperback, $5.99 for e-book

Have a great week!  I am counting down the days until I can officially start my Spring break (5 more days)!

Friday, March 15, 2013




200 Posts/Get Your Green on and Whiskey Down Your Throat!

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Thank you to everyone who has been reading the past two+ years.  It really means a lot to me.  I wish I had more time to work on this, but I am proud that I have been able to be fairly consistent with it, even being a full-time grad student.

This has been an especially busy week, and, although I do have enough reading to keep me well occupied this weekend, I am also going to try to relax and have a little fun (and probably get a little, okay, so very, drunk at least one or two nights this weekend).

Maybe I will also get some guitar playing accomplished, maybe, start laying down a guitar track over a click-track and get the whole recording thing going that I plan on focusing on over Spring Break.  My goal is to write and record a song from scratch, everything, including the lyrics.  I am going to build it up from a guitar part, then I will probably tackle the drums, and so on...  Anyways, for now I am going to focus on the guitar parts.  I will probably do some double tracking and bounce it all on one track (since I only have a four-track and I have to be a little more creative about how I go about it.

I don't really feel like I need more technology at this point.  I am satisfied with what I have.  Maybe a few more effects, but even that is not necessary.  I do need to get my my keyboard back, or take a weekend and my recording equipment and go to one of my relatives who have an organ...  Actually, I might do that instead since it is a better fit for the music I am likely going to record.

I still have those three stories I am working on editing, although I am almost done with one of them.  The other two are longer and will take a little longer, but I am not going to rush it.  I do want to get them wrapped up and sent out to different markets.  With those and the other stories I have sent out, hopefully I will be able to build more of a readership of this blog, which will hopefully lead to future book sales (whether I self publish or go through a publisher).

 I have compiled twelve short stories (versions of which have previously been published on this blog, except for one, actually), with which I am looking to test the self-publishing market.  The collection, titled Tales from the Fringes, I am looking at publishing through Create Space so I can publish both in print and in e-book format, and I don't have to put a lot of money into it (since, as I understand it, they keep the template for my book and print it per order.  I don't technically have to put any money into far as I can see.  However, I will  what I can within reason).

Now it is a matter of researching self-publishing and book design.  I want it to look professional.  If it doesn't look like it could have been published by a legitimate publisher, then it defeats the point.  It seems like that is the problem with a lot of self-published books: they are an inferior product.  I am not looking to self-publish as a last resort as much as an alternative option to traditional publishing.  This is why I am putting together something with which I can use to test the market.

This means I will like take down the fiction page -- at least until I have some different stories to post on it.  The stories in the compilation will be edited for writing quality and proofread for typos and grammatical errors.  They will hopefully be improved versions of the stories.

This is all in anticipation of my novel, which I am still waiting to hear back about and will likely focus on over the summer as I write my second (and possibly third -- since it has already been brainstormed and actually already exists in the form of a screen play.  The screenplay itself is only like 30 pages, but, with the amount of detail I am adding, it will be over 50,000 words, or so I have calculated).  I have a fourth book idea too, but I am not that crazy.  That I will save for the following year.  Actually I have a great back file of ideas and possibilities.

Anyways, it's that time of year, whether you're Irish (or, as in my case, only part Irish), or even not Irish at all, to get out the Jameson, Bailey's, Guiness, etc. and get fucked up while listening to The Pogues (Yeah, that's right, Flogging Molly and the Dropkick Murphys ain't got shit on the Pogues)!

Happy St. Patty's weekend!

Monday, March 11, 2013


If I make it through the next four days without my head exploding, it will be a miracle.  Oh well, good music and coffee will get me through.

"Poor old Johnny RaySounded sad upon the radioMoved a million hearts in mono"

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Whoring Myself Out


"Anthem for a Generation"

This is the second track on my album, Neverending Static, although actually the first recorded, which inspired me to record the other tracks and put this all together.

In other news, my weekend is shot already.  I hope you all have a good one while I stuck at home doing schoolwork!  Only two more weeks to Spring Break!

A Hipster, Ranting about Music and Stuff

I love Pink Floyd.  I'm sure that's no surprise to anyone by now.  Seeing Brit Floyd last Sunday was awesome.  I would have loved to see the real Floyd on the Dark Side tour.  That would be a dream come true.  Brit Floyd was as close a facsimile as I can reasonably get.  Roger Waters voice, as often happens (see Mick Jagger), went to shit.  At least they have voices at one time.

My voice has always been shitty.  I can live with it, though.  It's what I've got.  That's why the weirder my music the more I can justify my terrible singing.  That's how the entire genre of punk was invented.  And garage music.  Once you learn the different forms of the pentatonic scale you are good to go.  That's what I love about Iggy Pop.

I don't know what I'm going to end up recording, but, I do have Spring Break coming up.  Perhaps I can experiment.  Maybe in the meantime I will work on a drum part on my drum machine.  Now that I have actually learned how to use it I can make some pretty good sounding drum parts.  I just essentially listen to a good drum and then try and rip them off as much as possible.

That's the great thing about the best music.  It's unapologetic.  It is what it is, no matter what it sounds like.  It's music for music's sake.  It could be anything.  Rock, pop, country, alternative, psychedelic, punk, prog rock, mariachi...  Whatever it is, as long as it is created from a love of music.

Not that musicians shouldn't get paid, but, they should make the music they make, on some level, whether it's just playing guitar in their bedroom on a Friday night, closing their eyes, and imagining an audience.  That's another thing about the best music.  It's for an audience, whether the audience has paid to see it, or just happens to catch it on a street corner, people donating whatever spare change they have in their pockets.

I don't care if it's popular, or not.  I used to care.  It used to seem like popularity equates with the worst music, and, sometimes that's true, but not always.  Sometimes there are some good popular songs too.

It doesn't really matter if it is all about the music.  The music is what's most important.  Too often, it seems like, people lose that.  I try not to lose that.  Music really is just the greatest thing in the universe.

That's just what listening to good music makes me think about.  Dark Side of the Moon never fails me.  I never get sick of it or am disappointed when it comes on.  I don't even have to be in the mood.  It's effect is that potent.  It's like a rattlesnake bite bite that makes you high instead of killing you.  The best music does that no matter what.

I don't know what that makes me or care.  I used to care.  But it doesn't matter anymore.  I don't care what type of fiction my fiction is.  I am supposed to care, I am supposed place some kind of label on it and stamp it for approval, but, it just is what it is.

Whatever, man.  Seriously.  Whatever people want to label it, that's alright with me.  Those few people who are even paying attention.  That's alright.  If they don't want to label it at all, don't care enough or whatever, that's fine too.

It doesn't change anything.  I am still going to publish it in some form, even if it is just so I can have a copy.  That might be narcissistic but it's true.  I wrote it, I might as well get some kind of satisfaction out of it, if all else fails.

Hopefully it doesn't, but I don't know what is going to happen.  Right now it is out of my hands.  Right now I can't do anything but focus on school and do well and hopefully make it through with at least a small portion of my sanity intact.

If not, I will certainly get a lot more writing done in that ward of the hospital.

Unlike Jack Nicholson, I won't be faking it, at first.  If it happens.  I'm not saying that it's going to happen, but I can't entirely rule it out, either.  I have know other people to crack (and I have a history of it, already).  It is difficult to stay positive sometimes, but, I try to find something that makes life seem great again, whether it is my wife or my friends or music or writing or cuddling and watching Star Trek with Cheech and Elliot.

I have have to get down to business this weekend and, really, these next two weeks, two papers, three presentations, lots of reading and regular studying, and as much ass-kissing as my poor chapped lips can bear.  I feel like I need some Clearasil from the lip acne from the assne from all the lip to ass contact.

Now is my opportunity to write a paper on Melville.  The last time I wrote a paper on Melville my professor read it out loud to the class after he graded the essays as an example to the rest of the class.  I about crapped when I heard the words I had written spoken by someone else.  That was cool.  Now I have to present my own paper to my class.  Last time I did that it was for my Updike paper and I think that went remarkably well.

That paper I sent a proposal to do a real conference presentation. I also want to do finish the long version of it so it is article length and submit it to the John Updike Society contest.  The conference version is only ten pages, my goal for the article version is twenty-one.

Right now I just have to focus on my classes.  I've got to figure this Melville paper out and get busy on the Shakespeare stuff.  I've also got to start practicing the presentation on writing research papers I am giving to a college comp class a week from Wednesday.  I am super excited for it.  I hope I will not sound like a complete reject.  I am starting to get a lot better at doing presentations.

I just have to distract everyone with a cool power point and explain my argument carefully.  It worked with the Updike thing.  I can even use that as an example.  It was certainly not a typical paper for me, since it was focused on the language.

Well, the album is about over for me right now, "Brain Damage" is leading into "Eclipse", the climax.


"...And all you create
And all you destroy
And all that you do
And all that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon"

Friday, March 8, 2013

Another Friday Post

Well, it's Friday, it's been a while since I've posted anything substantive (if you consider anything I post substantive -- it's a relative term, so, whatever), I don't have any students (right now), and I am procrastinating before I have to read King Lear, and some essays on King Lear, so I can give a presentation on Wednesday.

 I also have to write two papers, and do a ten-minute presentation on one of them in my class next Thursday.  One of the papers is a personal narrative on the scene from Measure for Measure that that my group and I performed, and the other is an 8-page conference paper for my Melville seminar.

So it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone why I have not been posting so much lately and will likely not be posting much for the rest of the semester.  That being said, it is still my goal to write posts when I can, and hopefully at least once a week.

Planning on doing as much working, writing, and recording this summer as I can this summer.  Recording-wise I have a lot of ideas, albums written that I could record, and a strong inclination to scrap those and just record something totally new, which is what I did last time I recorded an album (the results of which can be found at

 I will say that, as I have put time and effort into being a better musician, my next album will be much different that my last album.  I am still inclined to keep my music as simple as possible, and it will be more guitar-based, and the recording quality will be better because I have much better equipment to use.  I still want it to be somewhat of a progression from Neverending Static.

Writing-wise, my goal is to get as far as I can in my second book while tying up any loose ends with my current book and the marketing materials (e.g. query letter, synopsis), and maybe write some new short stories.

I am almost finished with one of the last three stories I have to edit (at least finished to the point where I feel confident sending it to some journals, and two more I should be able to finish with a couple of good read-throughs (each).

I am also considering, in order to test the waters, and I have already compiled it and touched up the stories a bit, putting together a short story collection of stories I have published in some form on this blog.  It is twelve stories and is about 30,000 words.  I am thinking of trying out Kindle Direct Publishing or Create Space to see how it works, and if I can generate any kind of audience on my own.

Anyways, I have had this song on my head for the past 20 minutes or so and thought I should share it:

Happy Friday!

Sunday, March 3, 2013


For several years I have played music, played in bands, done some home recording -- although it has been a while since I have done so.  The last album I recorded I never really release to a wide audience, and the songs are no longer online.  I am happy to announce that I have once again put this album online, albeit in slightly different form.  For one thing, to reflect the changes, I have chosen some new artwork and a new name.  Now the album is called Neverending Static, and you can stream the complete album  and individual tracks for free or you can purchase the album for only $2 or individual tracks for 50 cents each (which, with 6 total tracks, that is a savings of $1).  Also, part of the changes, in order to differentiate between my music and my writing and my personal life, for music, I am going by the moniker, Survival Pilot, which came from an online band-name generation (I can't remember exactly which one).

So, if you wish, check out "the MUSIC page" (at the top) or check out:

Survival Pilot Band Camp Site

Survival Pilot Facebook Page *

(*note: there is no music on this page, only information)

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Every Good Boy Deserves Mudhoney

Saw a preview for this on Youtube.  Mudhoney has still got it:

I will definitely be buying this when it comes out.  Just found this on Youtube just now -- must be the single:

I would say that Mark Arm's voice is possibly even getting better with age.  This track rocks harder than a lot of stuff that's out there right now.   Can't wait to hear the rest of the album.

Friday, March 1, 2013


Should I do some music reviews on here?  I used to do that for The Stater.  I could just go around to local bands and check out the scene, do some casual interviews and really listen to the music and then write a blog about it.  I can even use the band's press photos (which is super easy in the digital age).  I could do albums or go to shows.  Either way I will conduct an interview of some sort.  I will do it through email and do it kind of Rolling Stones style, with my take on it and then a transcription of the interview, verbatim.  Casual.  Honest.

I am just trying to think of more ways I can build my audience on here.  I feel like that this is going to be the key to my success, because it is free and accessible, and, when I do occasionally release something for sale I will self-publish and do it cheaply just so I can make more of the profit, which I can invest into actual advertising.

This way will take longer but ultimately it will build me a loyal audience, because, well, I don't know.  This is free.  I like that, and, as far as I am concerned, free = freedom.

I don't have to be rich or popular but I do want to try and make a living of some sort, but only if I can sustain it with a steady profit, because I still have to pay my bills and fix my credit.

Any move I make at this point in my life has to be strategic.

I feel like I need to watch "Field of Dreams".  If I build it they will come?

I don't know if I can hold my breath on that, to use a few corny expressions in a row.

This lady on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?  and she doesn't know the Abby Road album cover.

That is...  Mind-numbing.

Going Gonzo

I think, since I got all the official bullshit out of the way I can finally focus on my classes, my job, my writing, my thesis.  My THESIS.  Holy shit.

I really need to figure that out.  I suppose that's where this helps.  Sometimes I do my best brainstorming on here when I am just rattling off.

I think I've used a similar description as this, but it's like masturbating in public with words.

I think that's the kind of tone I need to bring to my thesis.  I won't.  I don't want them to figure out that I'm insane.  No.  I want that to be surprising later when they read my book.  Or not.  I don't know.  isn't there a saying out there that it's when you stop thinking your insane is that's when the problem starts.  Then you become delusional and your life is over.

I like to use colorful language because it really sets off the black and whiteness of my blog.  Is that synesthesia?  It's the hint of city light at the top.  That's how life in Akron is, although it was worse in Chicago.  A night in the city has an orange tint.  It's like looking up into the night sky and reading the stars?

What if I do something cool and fun for my thesis, like The Catcher in the Rye.  I feel like I fit in that genre. My book is definitely "Coming of Age", if that can be considered an official genre.  I feel like it definitely could be.  I don't know.  I have never really cared as much about that.  For me it is just fiction.  Or literature.  

I sometimes say satire.  Past that, I don't know.  Dark humor?  Dark romanticist?  Neo-modern?  Is that even a real genre?  That's where I get confused about.  Those are more just styles.  A text can conceivably have a little bit of all of these elements because they all comment on one another and themselves.

It's like a web.

And I want to be the fly that is caught on that web and the web somehow connects itself to my nervous system and I become a part of it.

That's what happens.  It's like how my hobbies are melding into my career, slowly, carefully.  It's like a good chili.  The longer you let it sit -- for a certain period of time, anyway -- but the closer to where it's spoiled the better it is.  That's when the flavor reaches it's peak.

I'm getting there.  I am just focused on getting my master's degree.  I still have a ways to go before I reach my peak, if I don't crack under the pressure.

I just saw a Lucky Charms commercial.  It was, "Magically delicious!"

I can't believe that I am watching The View right now.  I guess I just got distracted by the shiny electronic object in front of me.

No, I think I just get off on the sound of my inner monologue when I am writing this.

It's really a perverse hobby.

Just ask Melville.

That guy has permanently warped my mind.

I want to have a job where I can use my creativity to constantly keep my audience stimulated.  I will just have a PhD and teaching it to 20 minds at a time.  And, of those 20, who will actually get it or care enough to let it effect them in a mature and lasting way.

That's asking a lot of 18 and 19 year-olds.  I think I kind of fucked it all up when I was that age.

I think most people do to some degree.  It's how you recover from the self-loathing that determines the rest of your life.  At some point you just have to stop and realize that you can either let it get to you and hold you back and create barriers in your life or you can use it as fuel for the future.  Lessons that will not sink in except for through experience.

I don't want to sit around and feel sorry for myself.  No one should.  It's a crime.  Your life is as good or bad as you make it in your mind.  Maybe that's just the stoicism in me.  Whatever happens, happens.  It's all the same.  That's at least what you have to tell yourself.  That's what you show on your trembling exterior.

Really you care more than anything about this gurgling blackness crawling to get out from inside you.  But then you find peace through happiness, and, one morning, you wake up and it has dissipated.  It was all just a figment of your imagination.

Then you learn to be happy.

That to me, is real success.

Signs of Life

Okay, I am still alive.  One might think, from the usual frequency of these blogs -- at least in the past six months or so -- that there is something dramatically wrong with me for having gone over a week without so much as posting even a video.

There is nothing wrong with me.  Well, nothing that wasn't already wrong with me before this week.  There is not newly wrong with me.

School is virtually nonstop.  Sometimes I wake up in the night analyzing Melville or Shakespeare (sorry, Chaucer, hasn't happened yet).  It is like when I used to have nightmares of working cash at Chipotle, only, honestly, the literature analyzing dreams aren't so bad.  It's nice to take a break from thinking about it, though.

Stayed up last night and worked on a short story that has had several names and several versions over the past two years or so since I wrote it for a fiction workshop.  I cut out a lot of words, but the ones that are left, well...  They are pretty fantastic -- I think I can say that.  If somebody can't admit when something they have been working on has turned out well -- better, even, than I ever thought it would -- then there is no justice in the world.

Anyway, I will probably proofread it through a few more times and then try and find an online literary journal where it will make a nice home.  I have one in mind already, but, I want to do some more research before I make a decision.

That leaves me with two stories left to finish editing/proofreading before I can start on some NEW IDEAS!  I am excited for the prospect.  It has been a while since I have written any new fiction or poetry, and I want to write something that is completely different from the types of stories I have been writing.  At least something that is a progression from what I have been writing.  It is important for me to make progress.

Well, anyway, happy Friday!  I hope you all get to relax this fine weekend.  I...have too much homework to do too much relaxing, but I will definitely find the time.  Anyways, I think I am going to go home after work, get out Dottie and "Rock the Casbah."  Or just my office.  Cheers!