Rebirth: New Direction, or What I've Been Missing

One of the things that I have been thinking about the most lately is how I am going to continue to keep writing in my life, throughout my life. It's something I am fully committed to doing, and I have been looking for ways that I can maybe even make doing it the thing that I, well, do.

Then it hit me: it has been staring at me in the face the whole time. It is literally doing so now. That's right, I am talking about this blog. *cue inspirational music*

My inspirational music, by the way, happens to be Donovan's Greatest Hits on vinyl (which I bought here in Akron, at Time Traveler), what is yours? [Feel free to comment below. Also, for the record, I don't try to be a hipster, it just happens naturally.]

By Source, Fair use,
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3309711.

Anyways, since I have gotten back into writing a new post almost every Saturday, I am feeling pretty good about what I have accomplished so far, and I am looking to build on that. This website I have steadily, with relatively few gaps, been putting my time and effort into for several years now, and it's time that I take it to the next level, so to speak.

To put it plainly, I have invested time and money into building it into what it is today, and I have no reason not to use the resources I have available, with maybe a small budget for advertising on Facebook, to really reach out and start building even more of an audience. I appreciate everyone who reads it now, I just want to multiple you without having to learn genetics.

So I will be writing more about my life, which people seem to like, as well as things going on in my community, and things happening culturally, and about music. I don't know what kind of blog you would consider it, but I have always maintained that it is it's own type of thing, and I wouldn't really adhere to a set of specifications, I would just write about what struck me at the spur of the moment and go with it.

I guess all things change, but like all good changes, this change came naturally by way of me changing--it happens to the best of us. I am in the process of setting a schedule and figuring out advertising and promotion, and the whole bit, so it will take some work on my part. Mainly, other than planning, I will sometimes have to do stuff during the week to prepare for the blogs, so I can't just sit on my ass in front of the TV anymore, but it will be worth the effort.

It's like that Talking Heads song [see above] about Bob and Judy starting a TV show and saving their marriage, only with words and pictures, and stuff, on a digital canvas and me, not so much saving my marriage, since that is fine, but doing something with my life worthwhile for me to do. Hopefully, others, or more others, rather, find it to be worthwhile, as well--there is only one way to find out.

See you on the other side!

Generating Heat

It's estimated that it's going to take nine days to get my proof.  I ordered it today so hopefully it will come early (it usually takes half that time).  I was hoping to have it by Friday.

If that's all that I have to complain about, then I must have a pretty good life.  I hope everyone is staying warm.  I was out in it earlier, and I can definitely understand what all the fuss is about.  It does seem kind of over-dramaticized by the news, but I guess they have to remind people since it has been like twenty years since the last time it was this cold.  I guess there are always those people who don't heed the warnings and put themselves or others, or pets, in danger.

I remember it being this cold growing up---but the house I grew up in had no insulation (or very little), so it always seemed cold.  When it was cold enough that there was ice on the insides of the walls, we were allowed to sleep in the living room.  When it was no longer safe to sleep upstairs.  Otherwise, it was pretty nice.  We just layered it up under a lot of blankets.  It was a good time for deep sleeping

I am more of a late night person, though, so I don't necessarily miss that.  I like being able to stay up until I can't help but to fall asleep.  Sometimes it's practically all night, and I sleep from like five a.m. to noon.  Other times it's like ten  at night, and I can barely stay awake---even with the lights burning my eyes.  It's nice to live somewhere that stays warm inside, warm enough to be able to do something other than bury myself under a pile of blankets and hibernate, and it's definitely something that I will hopefully never take for granted.

I guess that means I will have no excuse but to continue working on my thesis and my lesson plans. Or rocking out.  Hopefully, more of the former, but also some of the latter.  I still have time to record one song.  That's what I will continue telling myself---even probably the first week of the semester.  My goal, is to not get stressed about it, to just get done what I need to get done, get through it, and come out of it with my master's degree.  I have, after all, applied for graduation already!

If I continue working hard and writing my ass off, it will pay off.  It's by no means guaranteed, but I am going to keep trying and see what happens.  Hopefully this nine day wait doesn't delay the publishing of Out in the Garage, but, if it does, there are worse things happening in the world.  Either way, my job promoting it is only beginning.  It's not starting off very hot, but, there is no where to go but up.

Flexibility is also a Virtue

Hello all.  I know it's been a while, but I have very  busy with school and life and what not.  No complaints, it's just that in prioritizing my life, unfortunately it's things like this blog or working on finishing proofreading my short story collection that I have to forgo into order to give myself the time that I need to find a new place to live, buy a car, plan for my family's future, do my school work, plan for my class I'm teaching, grade papers, and work on my thesis --- which unfortunately has been a bit neglected lately too, a problem which, I am addressing this weekend.

Anyways, the point of this is, since I am literally "self" publishing, I am delaying the re-release of Tales from the Fringes for two weeks, to November 1st.  I have been proofreading it, and there is not a lot that I have to change, but I don't want to not finish proofreading and risk leaving any "stone unturned" --- to use a cliche.  I don't see it as a setback, but as a necessity.  Unfortunately, for the time being, until I actually have more time (i.e. I am out of school and I have a regular sort of job), my publishing schedule will have to be flexible.

That being said, since I am paid over winter break, I am not planning on working so that I can do some significant work to my thesis and also finish up Out in the Garage so it is ready on January 14th --- since that date has significance to me, personally.  Anyways, I know it might be disappointing to some of you, but my goal is to put out a professional quality book, and not one with a significant number of typos.  That just takes time and planning, and flexibility when my schedule doesn't work out how I want it.

I have been thinking a lot about my future, lately, and what direction I want to go after August 16th, and I am really have major doubts about going on and pursuing a PhD. --- at least not right away, and, maybe, never. I am also considering going for another year to either pursue another MA in education so I can teach high school English, or another year and getting my MFA as well, so that I can still potentially get a tenured teaching position, and I can more actively pursue what I truly love doing, writing fiction and poetry.  It would also broaden my qualifications and open me up to more jobs --- since there are plenty of businesses, such as greeting card companies or advertising firms, that need creative writers.  I just can't see being in school for another four years, making next to nothing, trying to scrape by, when I can an extra year in school and pursue the same type of career.  I don't know.

I haven't made my decision yet.  I am honestly leaning towards entering the workforce --- since one of my strengths as a writer is my adaptability --- and pursuing a career in something like technical writing (which I would need to research and grow comfortable with in the next 10 months).  I have already started perusing the job listings for the Akron/Cleveland area and doing some preliminary research (for like the median salary for technical writers, etc.) and I am not intimidating by what I am finding.  I am basically looking for the type of job that I can make a decent wage doing something in the writing field.  The type of job that allows have a life outside of work so that I can have a family and can afford to pay off my debt and save money and can read and write like I enjoy doing.

I am glad that I am attaining the level of education that I am currently pursuing, and I feel more confident in my abilities than I ever have before.  The question that I have to ask myself is, what is the dream?  When I am truly honest with myself the dream isn't getting a PhD. in English, it's in getting a job that I enjoy that allows me time to be with my family and friends and to indulge in my creative pursuits.  When I think of it in that way, it allows for more flexibility.

It's not like I will never read another book or challenge myself to understand a complex idea.  Education is something we must all strive for, no matter where we go or what do we in life.  School is a place that focuses on the pursuit of it, but --- at least in my experience --- there are a lot of people who take that for granted.  There are also a lot of people who take for granted that we don't need an institution to gain knowledge, that true knowledge is something we all strive for all our lives, no matter what our situation.  If more people continued to strive for knowledge instead of whatever else their priority might be, the world would be a better place.  Ignorance is not bliss.

Breaking Free

Freshman papers are not fun to read.  It is tedious and sometimes frustrating -- but also at times rewarding. No matter how bad it may be, it will ALWAYS be better than grilling food, making burritos, flipping burgers, working in a factory, working in warehouses...  It's important to keep it in perspective.

At least I can sit here, in my home office, in the air conditioning, with any music that I want, surrounded by my favorite things, books, guitars, and CDs, challenging myself to be better and to try and help these students become better writers.  If they don't take it seriously, it's not my problem, but I feel pretty lucky in that most of my class seems to take it seriously.  They genuinely seem like a good group of people, and I think this is going to be a great semester.

We are all still getting to know one another, and I am still assessing their individual strengths and weaknesses, but I don't think I am going to have many problems -- if the first two weeks are any indication.  I know I need to work on explaining concepts better, and getting them to force me to explain them better.  I can already tell a difference from the first common writing assignment papers to the first drafts -- for the most part -- and that might just be because it is a more interesting topic, but I can tell they are at least thinking more about what they are writing.

The more that I think about it, the more that it dawns on me, that I am truly lucky to be doing what I enjoy doing for a living -- even if I am at the beginning stages of it.  I think back to even just a month ago how miserable I was, and how much I hated my life, and my life now couldn't be more different.  Sure, it's challenging and sometimes frustrating, and it takes up a lot of my time, but there is not much else I would rather be doing right now.

I am still working on getting better at time management, and sometimes I have a hard time forcing myself to do schoolwork, but, I am getting better, and, more often than not, doing what I need to be doing, and I have faith in myself that I will continue working on this and getting better at it -- I mean, I am still able to get plenty of sleep each night, so I must not be doing too badly.

I do wish I had more time spend with my wife, my friends, and my family, but they are all very supportive, so I am pretty lucky in that regard.  While I work, I just have to keep in mind, that the more I work I put in now, the more time I will be able to spend with them later.  It's hard, and frustrating, but I know it will be worth it, and that I will be able to find a good-paying job -- I just have to keep working hard and being smart about the decision that I make.  It's amazing how much work it takes to get to the simple life.

Leaving Prep City and Entering Reality

My main concern about being a TA is the possibility of it taking over my life.  I don't want to let it do that, in spite of the fact that teaching is a main component of my future, and this is my learning teaching on the fly.  I plan on treating it on the same plane as my other classes -- and any other aspect of my life that I deem to be as important.  If I don't put it on the same level as everything else, I will be negligent to the other parts of my life that I believe to be just as important.

Playing guitar might suffer, but that will push me to focus on the most important aspect of it, which for me is merely just doing it.  As long as I able to do just that, from time to time, when my schedule permits -- in fact, I find it to be a good distraction, when I need to hit the restart on my hard drive.

It is a new part of my life, and it fills me with exuberance.  Every day I can't wait to devote a chunk of my day to it.  It has consumed my time over the past week.  I guess that's what happens when you wait until the last minutes to get it all together -- not that I had a choice, since I didn't have much to go off of until I started reading the book and went to orientation.

I hope to find the balance that I need, though, which means I will have to be disciplined, in spite of my state of mind, which is more often than not, chaotic, messy, racing.

However, the more I work, the more self-consumed I am, and the more I accomplish.  It becomes all about setting goals and never giving up on them -- even after I have accomplished them.  It's all about patiently forward motion, building momentum, and hitting all the random tasks along the way -- kind of like passing a level in Super Mario Brothers.

Sweetening the deal

Anyone who buys my short story collection, if you email me proof (gabegott@gmail.com), I will email you back pdf's of the blog version of the collection and an alternative version of my upcoming novel.

Enjoy!

"Beautiful Night" On a Sunday Morning

I would just like to thank Spanky for introducing me to The Burden Brothers last fourth of July.  I am rocking out to Buried in Your Black Heart right now.

I didn't start writing this till after 11 so it is going to have to be fast so I can get it out and legitimately advertise for the time period suggested in the title.

The music keeps pumping forward on a beat that jerks at your stomach like you are cresting a roller-coaster.

Then stops dead.

  

The Novel that I have been Working on for like... Six, Seven Years?... Out in the Garage

206 Pages

Paperback: $9.99 / e-book: TBA

ISBN-13: 978-1484983362

ISBN-10:148498336X

BISAC: Fiction / Coming of Age


Description:


Lance Adamson was born in the 80's.   His earliest memory is of that time when his mom left his dad.  It's okay, though.  Grandpa Harry saved him, took him out to the garage for the first time, taught him how to play drums.  I mean, really play.  How to make it count.  How to let the music carry him away.  Even his mom and dad had been rock n' rollers at one time, but they lost touch with the magic, stopped going out to the garage.

His best friend is Wayne; they go all the way to kindergarten.  Now they are in high school and have started the greatest band ever, The Knights of the Round Table, with their two best friends, Art and Louie Louie.  Maybe the rest of the school might actually notice them for once -- for a reason other than bullying them or suspecting them of being school shooters.

One summer Lance goes to stay with his Aunt and Uncle on their dairy farm near the small, Southern Ohio town called Babel.  There he meets the love of his life, Edie.  Together they must survive the oppressive Evangelicals who run the town and not lose faith in true love.

With the good and the bad and the whole tangled mess all swirling around, Lance trudges forward, discovering that no matter what happens he can always go back out to the garage -- as long as it is with the right people.


COMING OCTOBER 18, 2013!

NOTE:

Updated the book description for Tales from the Fringes.  I think this one is better.  We'll see if it helps.  Now I need to start really looking into getting reviewed by someone at least semi-legitimate.  Looking into getting onto some forums where I can subversively self-promote and advertise without really doing so.  Will continue posting to Facebook and Twitter.  I am trying to post more writing than advertising because that certainly gets annoying quickly.  The best advertising/self-promotion is the kind where it doesn't come across that way.  Really just trying to get this book on people's radars.

The Stuffness and his Band of Mercenaries

In case you are interested, I have pages on Author's Den and World Literature Cafe.  Also, if you like my writing, please follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and/or Google+.  Looking into more forums that connect authors and readers, as well as places I can potentially advertise.  Some zines maybe?  Small blogs with loyal readers?  Searching, searching, searching...  Would like to get some (hopefully good) reviews.

Can't spend any money right now, but, hopefully, as the summer progresses, I can put some money into marketing, buy several copies, send them out to some local media, do readings or something and selling copies...  Whatever I can do to get the word out.

Here is the updated information about my book, including links to the main places where it can be found:



OUT NOW!

Price: $7.99 paperback; $4.99 e-book
Create Space eStore
Amazon
Kindle Store

Nook Store
6" x 9"

15 stories/162 pages

ISBN-13: 978-1482787474

ISBN-10: 1482787474

BISAC  Category: Fiction/Short Story

Description:

Whether it's working at a McDonald's and playing in a band in "Greasy", mugging people to pay a violent drug dealer in "Survival", or accidentally starting the Zombie Apocalypse in "The Bananamen Prophecy", Tales from the Fringes finds people struggling through a variety of situations, with mixed results.  Mainly set in the Midwest, these stories capture the essence of what it's like to live on the fringes, where money is hard to come by and people are more often than not completely invisible to the outside world.

Gorilla Penises: By a Hipster, for Hipsters

I am a male, millennial hipster, so, therefore, my market (primarily) is likely going to be millennial male hipsters.  Does that mean my writing won't appeal to others?  I don't know.  Hopefully it will.  I mean, after all, hipsters do discover everything, so, if my writing becomes mainstream (eventually) I will have sell out and change my marketing strategy (by highlighting the sex and violence and denying any deeper meanings).  Until then, well, I am happy with marketing my writing to people who, like, like obscure, underground shit with some depth and, yes, even some irony.

And yes, I have come to terms with and accept the fact that I am a hipster.  While I don't necessarily see why this is an applicable label for me, I have been told that I am one -- by various people  -- so, therefore, if that is true, then who am I to debate it?  Do I love music, art, and want to preserve the environment, and don't buy into popular culture, necessarily, at least not 100% of the time (or really even 50% of the time)?  I believe those things are true.  Do I wear dark-framed glasses and Chuck's?  Yes.  Do I enjoy irony?  It depends.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  I am not one to use it just because I want to sound cool.

I try not to be pretentious, but, realistically, everyone is to a certain degree pretentious -- anyone who cares about what other people think and does things differently because of that.  I guess that means I just try to keep my pretentiousness to an acceptable level -- at least as much as someone getting a master's degree in English Literature can.

I guess, since I am marketing to hipsters, that means I have to open up accounts to sell through ibookstore and probably smashwords as well.  If anyone has any other ideas for places where hipsters are likely to buy shit, please, let me know.  As a hipster, I know where I buy shit, but there are different types of hipsters (I mean, after all, what are labels if there aren't sub-labels and sub-sub-labels to more clearly define a person or thing).

Keep in mind that I am a poor grad student and am looking for free and cheap ways to get this collection, Tales from the Fringes, out to its audience (if it indeed does have one), and other future projects (such as my upcoming novel).

Speaking of my upcoming novel, I am changing my mind back to calling it Out in the Garage.  I don't feel like I have to spoon-feed anybody the main theme by titling it For Granted. If I have failed as a writer and readers don't get that, I am okay with it, so much as they get something out of it.  I am not going to keep dwelling on the same projects when I have so many other great ideas.  I am planning on releasing my novel October 18, 2013, because October 18, 1851 is the date Moby Dick was released.  If you don't know by now, I have developed a kind of obsession with Melville (as I am writing my thesis on one of his books).  It seemed appropriate to me  for that reason and the fact that the epigraph is a quote from Moby Dick.  Although, to be honest, the book is more inspired by Fitzgerald and Salinger.

Now I am going to say The Great Gatsby a bunch of times: The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby The Great Gatsby...

That should be sufficient for now.

NOTE:

I'm working on some ideas for some posts.  Unfortunately, I don't have time to write any extended posts right now, but stay tuned, and, in the next day or two, I will definitely get to it.  I have some ideas that are stewing in my brain and will shortly be ready to serve.

Working on marketing, branding, and all that, which are all a part of self-publishing, and really, publishing, in general.  Not that I am trying to be rich or anything, but, I definitely want to build an audience, and I am working on some ideas on where I can do some recruiting.

Basically, I need to define who my audience is and what my appeal to them is and get my writing to them.  I have figured this out, so the next step is in doing some researching, developing my strategy, and getting it going.

UPDATE

Unfortunately, Tales from the Fringes will be tomorrow before I can release the print version.  There was a mix-up in the files and I send the wrong one to be reviewed.  The review process takes about 24 hours (although, in my experience, it is actually only like 12), which, now that I have gone through that process for the wrong file, I must do it again for the correct one, then I can release it for sale.

Like I said before, the Kindle e-book version is already for sale for $4.99.  The print version will be $7.99.

For those of you who use other formats for e-books other than Kindle, I am looking into the options and am going to release it for sale in those markets as well.

I will update again soon.

The Freakster and the Hipster: A Dialogue between a Baby Boomer and a Millennial

Hipster (in his blog):
"I agree 100% with this song. Every time I hear it, blast it in my car, on repeat, sometimes for weeks on end, it makes me glad that I am not the only person who notices these things.

As other millennials my age will attest, we were raised to reach for the heights, to push harder, to strive farther, to be idealistic and do better for our society and our species and our planet. But it's really fucking difficult when the generations who currently maintain power continue to fuck everything up, and will continue to fuck everything up to the point where there is no possible hope in fixing anything.

Thanks for leaving us a giant pile of shit.

Assholes."

Freakster:
Come on get off the rag.. every generation as said something similar ... I remember the Vietnam war.... rivers burning... they left us shit... don't complain..get out and do.... by actions!

Hipster:
But it only continues to get worse with every successive generation. People either grow more complacent or buy into the propaganda and become tools. It's not just action, it's strategic action, that will enable the changes to be made. I am not going to just give up everything I have worked towards and go out in the streets. As has been proven, that doesn't work. Instead, I am working towards putting myself into a position where I can positively influence people. After all, writing and educating are actions.

Freakster:
Interesting you say it has been proven it does not work. ... I marched in the Vietnam marches it worked.. I took part in earth day in the 70's it worked...we got the EPA...

I agree writing and educating are actions.... but some change require more ... large demonstrations have not been seen in this country since well before you were born.... don't be swayed by your statement push harder strive farther and to be idealistic.... and the generation that holds power... your generations has all the power... but they don't vote and they don't get involved...like in demonstrations... it's a shame... really is... I feel your pain buddy... but I see such little action by your age group..

Hipster:
But yet our government is still waging the same types of wars as Vietnam (Afghanistan, Iraq), and our planet is still deteriorating because of the pollution and the depletion of our natural resources (the Northwest Passage is opening up -- http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/story/2012/09/11/f-franklin-northwest-passage-arctic.html). But hey, at least there hasn't been a draft, and the voting age is 18 instead of 21. Your generation might have made progress in the 60's and 70's, but many of you (not you, specifically) have not been there to continue to push for progress, so our society has, if anything, regressed since then.

The idea that our generation has the power is a lie. The generation that has power is the generation that has all the money, and, due to the increasing wage gap and lack of opportunities, the marginalization of education, our generation is not likely to have the same means and opportunities to gain the power until it is far too late. Unfortunately, in our society, money equals power. I didn't make it that way, and I won't support that ideology, but I am trapped by it, to a certain degree. After all, in order to even maintain my health, to not be out on the street, to provide for my family, I do have to have money, and lots of it -- and a high school education and really a bachelor's degree won't provide for these basic necessities. I don't want money to have money, but it is impossible to live without.

I was raised in the 80's and 90's when material possessions were valued above all else and individuality was made to be more important than society; half of all our parents are divorced and many of us were raised by television. So is it no wonder we lack direction and unity and are obsessed with entertainment? Are these things our fault? Can one really change their frame of mind that has been firmly established by the time he or she is old enough to realize the significance of being greedy, materialistic and self-absorbed?

And events like the attacks on September 11, 2001 and the Boston marathon bombings only make people buy more into the system out of fear. And it's this system that is really the cause of the sentiments that pushes the people who perpetrate these attacks, because the system is corrupt, fueled by greed, and apathetic to the needs of poor people in the United States and all around the world. I am firmly against violence and am firmly against anyone who uses violence as a means to make a point, but the feelings that push them to the violence aren't unfounded.

I was taught to value education as the means to elevate myself and those around me, which is why I choose to empower myself this way. I will demonstrate when the demonstrations have a chance to make real, impactful changes, but there is not enough unity among the various demonstrators and neither are the goals realistically attainable. In my personal experience real changes take place over a long period of time and take dedication and patience, so why would any other type of significant change be any different?

People don't vote because there are no real choices: it doesn't really matter who gets elected because the politicians are not governing for their electorate as much as they are based on the interests of those who pay for their campaigns and make them millionaires. I am not saying that people shouldn't vote, but this is why people don't. Voters have been marginalized by the campaign culture. People feel powerless, and I can't blame them, and, personally, I am tired of voting for the lesser of the two evils.

I am not saying that I am not going to take action, as I firmly believe I AM taking action -- and that doesn't mean that I am not going to take further action when the time comes, or that I am not in the process of taking further action with other like-minded individuals, who are all looking to peacefully stand up against the status quo and make our voices heard. But first we have to get organized and go about it with some level of credibility -- otherwise we will be flatly ignored.

Freakster:
Yes, but who is picking up the banner? Why aren't the young people of your age voting? How do you think things change?

You may be a bit delusional saying I lie when I said "your generation has the power" You haven't tried anything.. except by not voting in masses... .. ( not speaking of you) and I am speaking of voting in local elections... that is where it starts.

You speak of having money is having the power... look at Obama... yes he has money now.. but do you know his history? He was raised by a single mom and grandmother... they had no money to speak of. True money can sway many voters.. but a good network and people getting involved can... look at the NRA and all the money they spent last election and the special one here in Chicagoland a few month back. Look at Carl Rove and his pac... he couldn't believe he lost to Obama... it is a ground game now!

Is anything your fault? Who knows.. TV... games.. Sports... Music... we can all blame this or that.... look inside and what do you see ... broken homes, helplessness ... destruction... I know a lot of young people making a difference locally... making change happen.. yes, they have been raised with all of those materialistic distractions.... why are they different? Maybe because they know how to make change happen... everything around you are changing... your writing has changed... your interests have changed in the last 10 years...haven;t they... and they will continue to change... it's like riding the razor's edge...

I was taught to value many things.. education being one.. having a good work ethic and above all else doing no harm... Start a group join a group... many people your age are... all politics are local....

Hipster:
I don't disagree with your sentiment that my generation needs to do more, but many of your generation who were carrying the banner dropped it a long time ago and now it's all torn and tattered and buried under the large pile of shit.

And to refute your earlier point, the youth voter turnout percentage of my generation isn't substantially different than it was for your generation (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/29/booming/voter-turnout-for-boomers-and-millennials.html).

It's not merely a matter of going out and demonstrating. Really it's about being heard, and there are plenty of ways that one can be heard other than by demonstrating. And those ways are often times more effectual.

And, for the record, Barack Obama's campaign was financed in the same way as Mitt Romney's was. The difference in the election was, in fact, the youth vote.

I never said that nothing was our fault, but everything that is wrong is not our fault either -- especially since much of it was already a problem before we were born. Certainly there has been a lot in our lives -- as I am sure was the case with your life when you were my age -- that are beyond our control and will continue to be out of our control until we have gained some level of affluence and through that, influence. Certainly it shouldn't be necessary to have money to make your voice heard, but increasingly it is necessary, and, anymore, it is becoming less possible for people in my age group to earn enough money to have the affluence we need to make a difference. It wasn't, after all, the poor people who led the American Revolution.

The American Dream to a large extent has always been a myth, but it is even more so now than ever. Look at the unemployment rate among recent college graduates. We were taught that if we went to college we would be able to get a decent job and earn a living and that turned out to be a lie.

I am a year away from earning a master's degree -- and I earned through my hard work and persistence an assistantship, which makes me a professional student. My school is paid for and I earn a small but liveable income. I intend to continue working hard, graduating, and pursuing my Ph.D. Only then can I situate myself in a position where I can influence people to think critically and make arguments supporting their ideas. In fact, as a graduate assistant, I will be teaching freshmen English Composition classes, where I will be able to begin doing so. In fact, I am doing it now, on a one-to-one basis as a tutor in the writing lab. This is how I am "carrying the banner."

Freakster:
lol.. i agree and disagree I can find facts that it was because he got 90% or more of black vote and the increase of that populations vote that put Obama over the top too. I guess I don't put much into the blame onto one or the other really.. What you say follows pretty much what is predictable and was said when I was young. I think you will see more people get involved and I was speaking more of a local effort and if you look at the young vote on local elections it is not good.

Yes, who ever believed the American Dream....Myth of course... even when i was a kid. I guess except for the media and undocumented workers? Is it harder today? I am not sure... I see lots of opportunities .. but I am old....Go out and do something.... even doing nothing is doing something... just to point fingers to point fingers... it should lead someone to something worthy of being pointed to. However you may choose to be.

[NOTE: this is more or less an exact transcription of an email exchange].

A Hipster, Ranting about Music and Stuff

I love Pink Floyd.  I'm sure that's no surprise to anyone by now.  Seeing Brit Floyd last Sunday was awesome.  I would have loved to see the real Floyd on the Dark Side tour.  That would be a dream come true.  Brit Floyd was as close a facsimile as I can reasonably get.  Roger Waters voice, as often happens (see Mick Jagger), went to shit.  At least they have voices at one time.

My voice has always been shitty.  I can live with it, though.  It's what I've got.  That's why the weirder my music the more I can justify my terrible singing.  That's how the entire genre of punk was invented.  And garage music.  Once you learn the different forms of the pentatonic scale you are good to go.  That's what I love about Iggy Pop.

I don't know what I'm going to end up recording, but, I do have Spring Break coming up.  Perhaps I can experiment.  Maybe in the meantime I will work on a drum part on my drum machine.  Now that I have actually learned how to use it I can make some pretty good sounding drum parts.  I just essentially listen to a good drum and then try and rip them off as much as possible.

That's the great thing about the best music.  It's unapologetic.  It is what it is, no matter what it sounds like.  It's music for music's sake.  It could be anything.  Rock, pop, country, alternative, psychedelic, punk, prog rock, mariachi...  Whatever it is, as long as it is created from a love of music.

Not that musicians shouldn't get paid, but, they should make the music they make, on some level, whether it's just playing guitar in their bedroom on a Friday night, closing their eyes, and imagining an audience.  That's another thing about the best music.  It's for an audience, whether the audience has paid to see it, or just happens to catch it on a street corner, people donating whatever spare change they have in their pockets.

I don't care if it's popular, or not.  I used to care.  It used to seem like popularity equates with the worst music, and, sometimes that's true, but not always.  Sometimes there are some good popular songs too.

It doesn't really matter if it is all about the music.  The music is what's most important.  Too often, it seems like, people lose that.  I try not to lose that.  Music really is just the greatest thing in the universe.

That's just what listening to good music makes me think about.  Dark Side of the Moon never fails me.  I never get sick of it or am disappointed when it comes on.  I don't even have to be in the mood.  It's effect is that potent.  It's like a rattlesnake bite bite that makes you high instead of killing you.  The best music does that no matter what.

I don't know what that makes me or care.  I used to care.  But it doesn't matter anymore.  I don't care what type of fiction my fiction is.  I am supposed to care, I am supposed place some kind of label on it and stamp it for approval, but, it just is what it is.

Whatever, man.  Seriously.  Whatever people want to label it, that's alright with me.  Those few people who are even paying attention.  That's alright.  If they don't want to label it at all, don't care enough or whatever, that's fine too.

It doesn't change anything.  I am still going to publish it in some form, even if it is just so I can have a copy.  That might be narcissistic but it's true.  I wrote it, I might as well get some kind of satisfaction out of it, if all else fails.

Hopefully it doesn't, but I don't know what is going to happen.  Right now it is out of my hands.  Right now I can't do anything but focus on school and do well and hopefully make it through with at least a small portion of my sanity intact.

If not, I will certainly get a lot more writing done in that ward of the hospital.

Unlike Jack Nicholson, I won't be faking it, at first.  If it happens.  I'm not saying that it's going to happen, but I can't entirely rule it out, either.  I have know other people to crack (and I have a history of it, already).  It is difficult to stay positive sometimes, but, I try to find something that makes life seem great again, whether it is my wife or my friends or music or writing or cuddling and watching Star Trek with Cheech and Elliot.

I have have to get down to business this weekend and, really, these next two weeks, two papers, three presentations, lots of reading and regular studying, and as much ass-kissing as my poor chapped lips can bear.  I feel like I need some Clearasil from the lip acne from the assne from all the lip to ass contact.

Now is my opportunity to write a paper on Melville.  The last time I wrote a paper on Melville my professor read it out loud to the class after he graded the essays as an example to the rest of the class.  I about crapped when I heard the words I had written spoken by someone else.  That was cool.  Now I have to present my own paper to my class.  Last time I did that it was for my Updike paper and I think that went remarkably well.

That paper I sent a proposal to do a real conference presentation. I also want to do finish the long version of it so it is article length and submit it to the John Updike Society contest.  The conference version is only ten pages, my goal for the article version is twenty-one.

Right now I just have to focus on my classes.  I've got to figure this Melville paper out and get busy on the Shakespeare stuff.  I've also got to start practicing the presentation on writing research papers I am giving to a college comp class a week from Wednesday.  I am super excited for it.  I hope I will not sound like a complete reject.  I am starting to get a lot better at doing presentations.

I just have to distract everyone with a cool power point and explain my argument carefully.  It worked with the Updike thing.  I can even use that as an example.  It was certainly not a typical paper for me, since it was focused on the language.

Well, the album is about over for me right now, "Brain Damage" is leading into "Eclipse", the climax.

~

"...And all you create
And all you destroy
And all that you do
And all that you say.
All that you eat
And everyone you meet
All that you slight
And everyone you fight.
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon"