Into the Great, Wide Open

It's only the middle of May, but this year so far has brought about a great number of changes in my life, and as I have held on, white-knuckled, a lot of what I used to hold as important has flown straight out the window, lost to the swirling oblivion.

Photo iillustration courtesy of https://pixabay.com/en/b3d-blender-tornado-severe-weather-814151/

Many of these changes have been forced upon me, and as my head stops spinning and I try to catch my breath, I work to begin making sense of it all.

One thing that has become clear is that I am going to have to let go of a lot in order to move forward, and one of those things that I need to let go of is the presence of writing in my life as the be-all, end-all of everything. Not that I am quitting writing or anything like that, but in order for me to enjoy it and sit down and do it every day, I have to do it for its sake, and for no other reason.

I alluded to this before, maybe a blog post or two ago, but it is now clearer to me than ever. Of course, much of this, if not most of it, or even all of it, is going on inside my head, and it is enough to drive a person insane.

Again, that doesn't mean that I am quitting writing fiction, or quitting publishing. In fact, what I am letting the wind take away and scatter is what has held me back from doing more of what I love for the reasons why I love it. Maybe this means that I will never be a professional writer, or whatever, but I don't care. I am doing this for me.

One of the (actual, physical) things that is getting lost to the wind is my update of my short story collection, Tales from the Fringes.

While the original is certainly far from perfect, I have come to terms with the fact that it is okay that it is imperfect, and that at the time that I published it, I did not know what I was doing. It was, after all, a learning experience, and of course the first time around what I publish is not going to be perfect, and of course I have learned a great deal about writing and publishing since then.

I just need to stop revisiting these same projects over and over so that I can move forward and focus on all of the new projects that I am writing right now, which are far better than anything that I have written before, and it would be a shame for me to postpone them or put them off any longer because I am too focused on making something perfect that can never be perfect.

The next project that I will be publishing is my flash fiction chapbook, which does not have a release date yet because there are still a couple or three stories that are being publishing in journals, and they have first rights, and I want to give people enough time to read and enjoy them in those places, first. I will, of course, let you know when those journals publish them, and give you a release date for my collection--when I have one.

The forthcoming collection's title is Dispatches from the Information Age, and I might write some more short shorts to put in it while I have time to work on it. It already has around 25-26 stories, and is around 70 pages (the way it is currently formatted), and I don't want it to get substantially longer than that. In fact, especially if I write more for it, I will probably edit it down and choose the best 20 or so stories.

I only plan to release it in print form, and I am going to take my time with the cover art and interior formatting to maximize the aesthetics of it. I am going more for artistic expression than "professionalism"--whatever that means.

Following its publication, hopefully sometime next year, I will be putting out my second novel, and sometime after that, my second short story collection, both of which are in progress. For the novel, which has changed names a few times since the last time I spoke of it, I have commissioned my artist brother to do the cover art, and even from our initial conversations, I know that it is going to blow people away--hopefully in the same way that the contents of it also do.

Thank you all for your patience, and for continuing to read this blog. I might not have the largest following, but I certainly have one of the best, and most loyal. I appreciate you taking the time to read what I write, no matter how inane or rambling it sometimes turns out to be. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday!

Always on My Mind

Searching for a job is never an easy task, especially when you are searching for a career. Most people--or, rather, many people, at any rate--go to college and study a particular field in order to establish a career in that field. I started out studying journalism and then made the switch to English, but the goal has always been to establish a career as a writer, as I have a natural affinity for writing and I do it all the time anyway. I have always been able to adapt to new styles and improve my writing with every class that I have taken, and I enjoy talking about it and influencing others to become better at it. This is probably why I have gotten into teaching, which is--or, at least, can be--an honorable profession. I am relatively new at it, and I still have a lot to learn, but it is something I can see myself doing.

However, it would not be honest of me if I said that it was my main goal, since my true desire is to be a professional writer. That is not to say that I don't like teaching, or that I wouldn't do it as a professional, it just means that I have the passion, and indeed, the determination, to be a professional writer, and I intend to follow through with that goal until I reach a point where I truly cannot move forward.

If I had been more diligent when I was younger, and had not let outside influences distract me and turn me away from my goal, I would be further ahead now. As a student journalist, I was published weekly in the entertainment pull-out of my (award-winning) college newspaper. After my first semester as a correspondent, I was promoted to entertainment reporter, and then had some problems in my personal life that distracted me from my career goals, and the semester after I became a reporter, I was back to correspondent again. It was no failing on my part as a writer, but I felt like I had failed. Instead of working through my problems and not giving up, and pushing through the hard times and focusing on school and working as a student journalist, I took a break. Not because I didn't want to continue working towards my goal, but because I needed time to get my life together before I continued on my path.

Out in the "real world," I worked and struggled to make ends meet, trying to figure out how to make the best of life. During this time, I met my wife, spent a couple years in Chicago, and reaffirmed what I had known all along: being a writer is a part of my identity. I went back to school, older, more mature, and more determined than ever. Changing my major to English, I not only graduated, but ended up going on to grad school, working the whole time, balancing my personal life, my school work, and a job, and I struggled, but the kind of struggling that makes a person stronger and more capable of succeeding, because, even when it was difficult, I didn't crack and give in to the pressure, I continued working and pushing, and, even when I didn't want to or didn't think I could do it, I did it anyway. From my effort, based on my writing skills, I was selected as a graduate assistant, and now I have gotten some real professional experience as a college instructor and am one creative writing workshop away from a master's degree, and I am at a crossroads.  

There are many different possible directions but only one direction to go, and I have to decide what is best for me--but not only me, but also my wife, and my future family. While, in many ways I am further ahead than I was five years ago, all my effort is moot unless I can transform those personal and professional developments into something concrete. I don't need to be rich, but I do need to meet my needs, and life isn't cheap.  I need to earn enough money to not only cover my basic living expenses, but also my student loans, and my debt--and not just mine, but also my wife's. I feel stuck, because I believe that I owe it to myself and to the work that I have accomplished so far to pursue a career in the area that I have chosen to study. I have been offered a part-time teaching position at my school, and I would happily accept it, but I realistically need a better paying job in order not to slide further into debt and poverty. I might be able to subsist with the part-time position if I can find a second part-time teaching position in the area, but I am still not that experienced as an instructor, and my main goal is to become a professional writer.

Even though I will shortly have a master's degree, and I have taught writing, and have written for a widely distributed publication (even though it is a student-run newspaper, it still has a wider circulation than many small town newspapers), I have no professional-level writing experience, and there doesn't seem to be any entry level writing positions available (anywhere). Every position I see needs at least 2-3 years of professional experience. Even though (I believe) I am fully capable of doing many of these jobs,  and, even of the ones that I seem to meet the criteria that are listed, the employers don't seem to want to give me a chance even if I might be more highly skilled than someone with more experience. 

If I can't convince an employer to hire me full time, I need to make the best of what I can get, and work to achieve my goal, somehow. I will take the part-time teaching position(s) and at the same time devote myself to freelance writing and getting published. I will work towards becoming a better, more experienced writer and instructor, and will continue working towards my goal, and hopefully earn enough money to subsist. 

It's either that, or just give up on trying to become a writer and/or an instructor, and just take whatever best-paying job I can get.

Somehow, I can't bring myself to do that. Not yet. Not until I know that the gates are closed, and that no amount of effort will help me get passed it. Of course, I will probably be dead before that happens.

Official Release Date Change for Out in the Garage / Re-release Date Set for Tales from the Fringes

While I certainly don't want to disappoint anyone, I am going to push back the release of my novel, Out in the Garage, to over Christmas Break, which will give me the time I will need to focus on school and also finish the novel and proofread it thoroughly.  This way I can network more and promote it more and use the re-release of my short story collection to build something of an audience.

It's important for me to do this right: my classwork, my class I'm teaching, and my thesis are all very important, and I need to build my C.V. and get some articles published and try to do another conference or two, if I can, if there are any that fit my area of growing expertise.  I do feel like I am doing a good job, and things are going really well, and I am learning a lot.  I really need to focus on doing everything I need to meet my next goals.  Anyways, it's important to keep my priorities in order and to give myself plenty of time to accomplish all of my goals.  '

Sometimes it's hard to be patient, but I am confident in the direction I am going, both with my career and my creative writing pursuits.  I am not worried about changing my mind about the direction I am going with Out in the Garage, and I am actually almost done with the rewrite (only thirty more pages, which is about one-eighth left to do).  Then I will spend plenty of time proofreading for typos and any little grammatical things I might need to tweak for clarity.  If there is anything Tales from the Fringes has taught me, it is that I can never be too thorough.

The Official Release Date of Out in the Garage is set to be Tuesday, January 14 (which, I believe, would be my Grandpa's 75th birthday).  Tales from the Fringes will be re-released on Friday, October 18.

200 Posts/Get Your Green on and Whiskey Down Your Throat!

   222222222                  0000            0000
22              22            00       00     00      00
                  22           00        00     00      00
                 22            00        00     00      00
                22             00        00     00      00
                2               00        00     00      00
              22               00        00     00      00
             2                  00        00     00      00
           2                    00        00     00      00
         2                      00        00     00      00
       2                        00        00     00      00
     2                          00        00     00      00
   2                            00        00     00      00
 2222222222222            0000            0000





pppp                                                                  !!!!!
  pppppp                                                             !!!!
  PP        pp                                   t                    !!!
  pp         pp                                   t                    !!!
  pp         pp                                 tttttt                 !!!
  pppppp       ooooo          ssss        t       ssss      !!!
  pp             o         o       s              t      s            !!!
  pp             o         o        sss         t        sss
  pp             o         o              s       t            s      !!!
pppp             ooooo         sssss      ttt     ssss       !!!



Thank you to everyone who has been reading the past two+ years.  It really means a lot to me.  I wish I had more time to work on this, but I am proud that I have been able to be fairly consistent with it, even being a full-time grad student.

This has been an especially busy week, and, although I do have enough reading to keep me well occupied this weekend, I am also going to try to relax and have a little fun (and probably get a little, okay, so very, drunk at least one or two nights this weekend).

Maybe I will also get some guitar playing accomplished, maybe, start laying down a guitar track over a click-track and get the whole recording thing going that I plan on focusing on over Spring Break.  My goal is to write and record a song from scratch, everything, including the lyrics.  I am going to build it up from a guitar part, then I will probably tackle the drums, and so on...  Anyways, for now I am going to focus on the guitar parts.  I will probably do some double tracking and bounce it all on one track (since I only have a four-track and I have to be a little more creative about how I go about it.

I don't really feel like I need more technology at this point.  I am satisfied with what I have.  Maybe a few more effects, but even that is not necessary.  I do need to get my my keyboard back, or take a weekend and my recording equipment and go to one of my relatives who have an organ...  Actually, I might do that instead since it is a better fit for the music I am likely going to record.

I still have those three stories I am working on editing, although I am almost done with one of them.  The other two are longer and will take a little longer, but I am not going to rush it.  I do want to get them wrapped up and sent out to different markets.  With those and the other stories I have sent out, hopefully I will be able to build more of a readership of this blog, which will hopefully lead to future book sales (whether I self publish or go through a publisher).

 I have compiled twelve short stories (versions of which have previously been published on this blog, except for one, actually), with which I am looking to test the self-publishing market.  The collection, titled Tales from the Fringes, I am looking at publishing through Create Space so I can publish both in print and in e-book format, and I don't have to put a lot of money into it (since, as I understand it, they keep the template for my book and print it per order.  I don't technically have to put any money into it...as far as I can see.  However, I will  what I can within reason).

Now it is a matter of researching self-publishing and book design.  I want it to look professional.  If it doesn't look like it could have been published by a legitimate publisher, then it defeats the point.  It seems like that is the problem with a lot of self-published books: they are an inferior product.  I am not looking to self-publish as a last resort as much as an alternative option to traditional publishing.  This is why I am putting together something with which I can use to test the market.

This means I will like take down the fiction page -- at least until I have some different stories to post on it.  The stories in the compilation will be edited for writing quality and proofread for typos and grammatical errors.  They will hopefully be improved versions of the stories.

This is all in anticipation of my novel, which I am still waiting to hear back about and will likely focus on over the summer as I write my second (and possibly third -- since it has already been brainstormed and actually already exists in the form of a screen play.  The screenplay itself is only like 30 pages, but, with the amount of detail I am adding, it will be over 50,000 words, or so I have calculated).  I have a fourth book idea too, but I am not that crazy.  That I will save for the following year.  Actually I have a great back file of ideas and possibilities.

Anyways, it's that time of year, whether you're Irish (or, as in my case, only part Irish), or even not Irish at all, to get out the Jameson, Bailey's, Guiness, etc. and get fucked up while listening to The Pogues (Yeah, that's right, Flogging Molly and the Dropkick Murphys ain't got shit on the Pogues)!







Happy St. Patty's weekend!