Friday, September 28, 2012

Owning Google One Cent at a Time

I have earned a total of $.06 so far on this blog.  I know, really rolling in the big bucks.  I have earned $.02 this month alone, which definitely makes it my best month so far, financially, for this blog.  If I can earn $.02 a month for the next three months, then I will have earned a total of $.12 for the entire year, which averages to $.01 a month.  Damn.

 I should be doing homework right now.  I will get to it: in fact, it will probably take the next two or three days of time that I am not at work -- and I work 18 hours the next two days.  That is why I am sleep deprived.  I am going to try to get out early tomorrow, although I don't know how likely it is that it will actually happen, although I am a manager so it is probably more likely to happen than it would be for a regular crew member.

That's right.  Homework.  I love what I study, really and truly, but I loath doing it.  Can't stand it.  Don't want to spend even a second on it.  But I have to spend some seconds on it.  A multitude of seconds.  Years of months of days of minutes of seconds.  That's a lot.  It will get me ahead, push me to do the work to do the research to write the papers to get published.

After the C.V. workshop yesterday, I am trying to get myself working on building it, which means doing stuff academically that will impress people enough to invite me to join a PhD. program after I get done with this whole Master's degree business.  That means getting published and presenting at conferences.  That means a lot of research, which means a lot of homework and studying, which takes a lot of time.

I care too much about my job.  It just a means for an ends.  Sure, I have extra responsibilities as a manager, and it is by far not the worst job I have ever had -- but it is not my future.  Its place in my life has a limited future.  It knows that.  I am only supposed to be a part-time manager now.  I am working 38+ hours this week, and have been working 35-40+ since I transferred there.  Next week I have only 24 hours, which is perfect.  I am going to insist on staying around 25 hours -- except during Christmas break.  We'll see how that works.  I take too much responsibility there, which is seen as good and I am glad I can help to improve the situation in anyway I can, however, it is becoming too much of an obstacle in my career path, and I don't need anymore obstacles, as I am already coming from behind.  I am not going to just quit it, though.  I am going to continue working there and just be firm about my role the and scope of time I can spend there.

I do have a full graduate student workload, and am married, and am pursuing creative writing too, and I can't seem to get anything done.  Truthfully, I do finish my assignments, but I would like to spend more time on them -- even if it takes me forcing myself -- and spending more time pursuing getting some articles published in journals, write some abstracts, and do some presentations, get a TA position, get some teaching experience, maybe do some tutoring...  And of course have a life, be a good husband, and try to be a published novelist.

If I keep on working at it, I know it will all come together, and if it doesn't, I will start down another path, but until I get to that point, I am going to keep going down this path and hope that my head doesn't explode.

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