It has been five days since I have written in this blog. It had become like an addict or something. I had literally become addicted to this whole concept of just putting words on a page and hitting send and sending it out to the world. I feel like I am the world at my fingertips. So what if it is a world of all ones and zeros, it is a world never-the-less, and I okay with that.
I am watching Lie to Me on Netflix and it is all a carnival act.
The best lines are the ones that I think of then write down and just leave the way they are because I know in my heart that is exactly what to meant to say. I guess it allows me to develop a certain confidence to my writing, but whether it is well-placed or not remains to be seen.
I like to passively listen to TV or music and letting the ambiance enter my brain and influence me whether I realize it's actual full effect or not. Maybe I am just allowing myself to be brainwashed. Anybody ever notice how loud and dramatic all television is even when it's comedy. There is a certain desperation to the humor. Like, look at how pathetic we are. Look! Look universe we are cynical and smug and everything in our worst nightmares and we just can't wake up.
That is what they want you to think. All deep and meaningful like nonsense that really stirs you that you either like or finds annoying. There it is. That is the misplaced confidence. It is what it is, folks. Like an ending a cause with a preposition. They begin clauses. Or do they? I am not sure.
[Oh no I have become predictable. Inevitably leading to some sort of equally-as-rambling meta-narrative (which is a word, trust me) ...]
Hey, fuck you for that, by the way.
[What, oh now you're talking directly to the meta-narrative you in the second person, calling you out on calling you out on calling you out.]
Oh wow, meta-self, that was a word after all.
I didn't believe you until I had tried using it myself.
[I assure you, I don't mind. I find a hard time believing it myself.]
Wait, I am confused. Now I am plainly just talking to myself? Shit, that means that whole narrative has broken down and it has taken me until just now to realize it.
[Yeah, it's truly a shame. I was really thinking you were going somewhere there for a while. Oh well, I will continue rooting for you.]
That was fucking sappy. I'm sorry.
Oh well, that is, in a nutshell, not the synopsis of Three Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place.
[Well spoken, my friend, definitely not.]
Hey, did I just channel the paranoia of this television show without trying to. I'll bet the makers of it would be suspicious of using a preposition to end a sentence,even Google's dictionary says it is. Otherwise it would attempt to edit me. I like to challenge it a lot sometimes, though. It needs challenged, sometimes. I usually trust it, though, as I am going along. When I go back and read it I don't rely on it at all. Sometimes I don't go back and read it, which definitely correlates to when I leave the most typos. I guess that makes this a sort of rambling experiment in writing. My goal is to just say what is on the top of my mind as I am thinking it, and trying to capture my subconscious monologue. I don't really believe that's possible, but it is fun to think about.
Sometimes I just need to get this out of my system before I get any actual work done because it is more responsible somehow and it allows me to really assert control over what I am saying when I am writing my paper, which I am about to begin here shortly. That's right, my friends, I am about to challenge you, John Updike, to a dual. You'll win but I am mostly on your side and in awe anyways. I really like looking at the way you write really close up and coming to some sort of panty-shattering conclusion.
It definitely beats watching porno to techno music, which I definitely do not do and definitely do not not condone.
Was that confusing? Did I just say what I thought I did? I think I confused you phonetically, which was my plan all along. BWaAhahahahHAAHAHAHA!
I am a language super-villain.
Captain Hook in a leopard-printed thong riding water skies in a lake of fire.
Get that image out of your mind. Try. Just try.