Thursday, April 2, 2020
Three Out of Four Dentists Recommend This Blog Post (But for Totally Non-Dental Reasons)
Sunday, December 23, 2018
Procrastination Paradise
I’m not even really sure where I’m going with this blog post, to be honest. Not that that’s ever stopped me before. No, I’m going to do like I do and just sort of wing it. See where it goes. Put fingers to keys, words to screen, and hopefully, after the dust settles, what I write will make some semblance of sense. Maybe even have some coherence.
In my experience, it’s better to use drugs to help find inspiration, rather than relying on them for inspiration. It’s a subtle difference, but an important one. It’s best this way, when they're more of a tool than a crutch. I’m finding that meditation works really well for that, too. It’s also much healthier. I’m no spring chicken anymore, so I have to think about that shit. I’ve already started falling apart enough—I don’t need it to get any worse.
Finding inspiration can definitely be tricky. It might not always be, but sometimes it is. Even if I know what I'm going to write about, even if I’ve already brainstormed it and outlined it and all that business, actually sitting down and punching it out is the hard part.
Of course, it doesn’t help that I am something of a first-rate procrastinator. Even in grad school, even during my short but busy journalist days, I have always been one to wait until as close to the deadline as humanly possible to complete an assignment. It usually always worked out for me, which is probably why I have kept doing it all these years. The results speak for themselves, anyways. Well, it has gotten me this far.
The key is to just keep, keeping on, even if that means only sitting down every once and while, when the inspiration actually does strike, and getting out what I am able to get out during that time. I just keep doing it, no matter what. Eventually, something will click and I’ll finish what I set out to finish. It might not turn out how I originally thought it would, but that’s okay. It’s almost always for the better, that way.
So maybe I’m doing more guitar-playing than writing right now, but that’s okay. I will come back around to the writing again. See? I’m doing it now. That’s all the proof I need. It might not be the thing I need to focus on writing, but it's something. That, the short story collection, might be far from done, but if I continue pushing myself, continue story by story, page by page, word by freaking word, no matter how long it actually does take, I will get it done, and it will turn out exactly like it's supposed to turn out.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
UPDATE:
Friday, October 18, 2013
Tales from the Fringes New Cover
Flexibility is also a Virtue
Anyways, the point of this is, since I am literally "self" publishing, I am delaying the re-release of Tales from the Fringes for two weeks, to November 1st. I have been proofreading it, and there is not a lot that I have to change, but I don't want to not finish proofreading and risk leaving any "stone unturned" --- to use a cliche. I don't see it as a setback, but as a necessity. Unfortunately, for the time being, until I actually have more time (i.e. I am out of school and I have a regular sort of job), my publishing schedule will have to be flexible.
That being said, since I am paid over winter break, I am not planning on working so that I can do some significant work to my thesis and also finish up Out in the Garage so it is ready on January 14th --- since that date has significance to me, personally. Anyways, I know it might be disappointing to some of you, but my goal is to put out a professional quality book, and not one with a significant number of typos. That just takes time and planning, and flexibility when my schedule doesn't work out how I want it.
I have been thinking a lot about my future, lately, and what direction I want to go after August 16th, and I am really have major doubts about going on and pursuing a PhD. --- at least not right away, and, maybe, never. I am also considering going for another year to either pursue another MA in education so I can teach high school English, or another year and getting my MFA as well, so that I can still potentially get a tenured teaching position, and I can more actively pursue what I truly love doing, writing fiction and poetry. It would also broaden my qualifications and open me up to more jobs --- since there are plenty of businesses, such as greeting card companies or advertising firms, that need creative writers. I just can't see being in school for another four years, making next to nothing, trying to scrape by, when I can an extra year in school and pursue the same type of career. I don't know.
I haven't made my decision yet. I am honestly leaning towards entering the workforce --- since one of my strengths as a writer is my adaptability --- and pursuing a career in something like technical writing (which I would need to research and grow comfortable with in the next 10 months). I have already started perusing the job listings for the Akron/Cleveland area and doing some preliminary research (for like the median salary for technical writers, etc.) and I am not intimidating by what I am finding. I am basically looking for the type of job that I can make a decent wage doing something in the writing field. The type of job that allows have a life outside of work so that I can have a family and can afford to pay off my debt and save money and can read and write like I enjoy doing.
I am glad that I am attaining the level of education that I am currently pursuing, and I feel more confident in my abilities than I ever have before. The question that I have to ask myself is, what is the dream? When I am truly honest with myself the dream isn't getting a PhD. in English, it's in getting a job that I enjoy that allows me time to be with my family and friends and to indulge in my creative pursuits. When I think of it in that way, it allows for more flexibility.
It's not like I will never read another book or challenge myself to understand a complex idea. Education is something we must all strive for, no matter where we go or what do we in life. School is a place that focuses on the pursuit of it, but --- at least in my experience --- there are a lot of people who take that for granted. There are also a lot of people who take for granted that we don't need an institution to gain knowledge, that true knowledge is something we all strive for all our lives, no matter what our situation. If more people continued to strive for knowledge instead of whatever else their priority might be, the world would be a better place. Ignorance is not bliss.
Monday, July 22, 2013
New Out in the Garage Description (in progress)
Lance Adamson was born in the 80's, stranded in Nodtown. There, he lives with his mom and Grandpa Harry at Grandpa Harry's house. He spends most of his time playing drums -- when he's not in school, anyways -- jamming with Grandpa Harry, who plays bass, but it is the furthest thing from cool. While Grandpa Harry is the one who took Lance out to the garage for the first time and taught him how to play -- how to really play, how to let the music carry him away -- to Grandpa Harry, jazz is religion, and, nowadays, all Lance really wants to do is rock out. Wayne, Lance's best friend, plays trumpet with them -- but he is actually more of a guitarist. He plays that thing as often as other dudes masturbate. Lance and Wayne could totally start the greatest band in rock n' roll history, except that Grandpa Harry will never let that happen, not in that garage, anyway. Lance knows that it's time for a change...
Of the various different versions I have written, I think this one is my favorite. It sets up the story but doesn't really give anything away.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
More Questions Than Answers
When I consider it, yes, one is more of what I originally intended, and the other I have made great changes to make it more literature than satire, more serious than entertaining, more thoughtful than vulgar. What is better? What is worse?
Just when I think I have answered this question, I have another answer to the question, and then more questions... What is better, what is worse? Can I release both, somehow? Should I? Should I combine the two? Do I have the time?
Then I reason with myself. The one I have spent more time on over the last three years, the more serious, more literature, but still not enough mainstream to be considered publishable by a mainstream publisher, has corrected the problems that I was having with the 2010 version, which I have based the other version, The Millennial, off of.
Do I want over-the-top or thoughtful? What is better and what is worse? Does anybody care other than me? Does it really matter on the grand scope of my life? Will anyone read it, either way? Do I just give it up and move on? What is the right thing to do? Is there a right thing to do? Am I just some mutt chasing his tail?
What does it matter? Does it matter? Don't I have more important things to think about, to work on, to make sure turn out well? Shouldn't I see this through, for once and for all, to show that I can? Why can't this be more clear-cut? Why do I make things more difficult than they have to be? Why am I so indecisive? Does Mark Wahlberg really have a third nipple? Which is the best fantasy world, Narnia, Oz, or Never Never Land? Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
Maybe this is all really me second-guessing publishing Out in the Garage, and that I care way too much about what other people think. This is, after all, my novel. Some people are going to like it, some people aren't, and most people aren't ever going to read it.
I guess a part of it, too, is... What version makes me happier? When I set out to make changes, it wasn't merely to please others, but there were some real problems I had with the story that I was looking for advice to help with, and I got that advice, and followed the advice that I liked, and ignored the rest. It was still me making the decisions based on my own criteria.
It seems like I know what I want to do -- but am I brave enough, can I find the confidence, to do it? Why do I start second-guessing myself again now? Isn't this what has prevented me from publishing it before now? Am I just afraid to let myself be vulnerable and to open myself up to criticism from the world? Is it because I have spent so much time on it that it has become such a part of my life that I am hesitant to give it up, and now I am trying to give myself reasons to not give it up? Don't I just need to keep pushing forward and not forsake the work that I have done and trust the advice that I have taken, and put out what I know to be the better version -- even if it is different from what I originally intended, because, to be honest, I had no idea what the Hell I was doing in the beginning, and now I have learned a great deal?
This is such a trivial concern in a world that has so many bigger problems that more people should be taking the time to think about and attempting to do something about -- even if it is just writing books that more directly confront those problems than this first book of mine, which is really rather juvenile when compared to the books that I am planning on writing. It is time to move on, and I can't do that until I get this one finished, and I am too far into it, too close to being finished, to change my mind out of fear and nervousness.
Sometimes I just need to pep-talk myself and think out-loud and help myself realize when I am being foolish.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
The Post Where I Say "Fuck It"
This is why I am doubling down on my commitment to myself to write whatever the fuck I want, however the fuck I want, put it out however the fuck I want, and I don't give a damn about what is supposed the right way or whatever.
The people who decide what the right way is don't have my interests or my knowledge or experience and have not legitimate basis to tell me how to do what I do or why. It doesn't always have to be about making money or becoming famous or whatever.
I can't please everybody but I can please myself, as my masturbating hand will attest.
Friday, June 21, 2013
PRICE DROP (what?)!
Friday, June 7, 2013
Random Notes:
Very exited to be reading Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher (as well as other books, including The Mystborn by Brandon Sanderson).
Recording is... Going well. Check out www.soundclick.com/survivalpilot.
Check out the books page to read the updated description for Out in the Garage, my debut novel, which I am self-publishing / releasing for sale on October 18.
*Making my wife watch Warm Bodies because I know she'll like it once she gives it a chance*
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
TALES FROM THE FRINGES is OUT!
RELEASE DATE: MAY 14-15, 2013
Price: $7.99 paperback; $4.99 e-book
Create Space eStore
Amazon (coming soon!)
Kindle Store
iBookstore (tentatively coming soon!)
6" x 9"
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
UPDATE
Like I said before, the Kindle e-book version is already for sale for $4.99. The print version will be $7.99.
For those of you who use other formats for e-books other than Kindle, I am looking into the options and am going to release it for sale in those markets as well.
I will update again soon.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Updated Information on Tales from the Fringes
Price: $7.99 paperback; $4.99 e-book
Monday, March 18, 2013
The Big Announcement!!!
Friday, March 15, 2013
200 Posts/Get Your Green on and Whiskey Down Your Throat!
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Thank you to everyone who has been reading the past two+ years. It really means a lot to me. I wish I had more time to work on this, but I am proud that I have been able to be fairly consistent with it, even being a full-time grad student.
This has been an especially busy week, and, although I do have enough reading to keep me well occupied this weekend, I am also going to try to relax and have a little fun (and probably get a little, okay, so very, drunk at least one or two nights this weekend).
Maybe I will also get some guitar playing accomplished, maybe, start laying down a guitar track over a click-track and get the whole recording thing going that I plan on focusing on over Spring Break. My goal is to write and record a song from scratch, everything, including the lyrics. I am going to build it up from a guitar part, then I will probably tackle the drums, and so on... Anyways, for now I am going to focus on the guitar parts. I will probably do some double tracking and bounce it all on one track (since I only have a four-track and I have to be a little more creative about how I go about it.
I don't really feel like I need more technology at this point. I am satisfied with what I have. Maybe a few more effects, but even that is not necessary. I do need to get my my keyboard back, or take a weekend and my recording equipment and go to one of my relatives who have an organ... Actually, I might do that instead since it is a better fit for the music I am likely going to record.
I still have those three stories I am working on editing, although I am almost done with one of them. The other two are longer and will take a little longer, but I am not going to rush it. I do want to get them wrapped up and sent out to different markets. With those and the other stories I have sent out, hopefully I will be able to build more of a readership of this blog, which will hopefully lead to future book sales (whether I self publish or go through a publisher).
I have compiled twelve short stories (versions of which have previously been published on this blog, except for one, actually), with which I am looking to test the self-publishing market. The collection, titled Tales from the Fringes, I am looking at publishing through Create Space so I can publish both in print and in e-book format, and I don't have to put a lot of money into it (since, as I understand it, they keep the template for my book and print it per order. I don't technically have to put any money into it...as far as I can see. However, I will what I can within reason).
Now it is a matter of researching self-publishing and book design. I want it to look professional. If it doesn't look like it could have been published by a legitimate publisher, then it defeats the point. It seems like that is the problem with a lot of self-published books: they are an inferior product. I am not looking to self-publish as a last resort as much as an alternative option to traditional publishing. This is why I am putting together something with which I can use to test the market.
This means I will like take down the fiction page -- at least until I have some different stories to post on it. The stories in the compilation will be edited for writing quality and proofread for typos and grammatical errors. They will hopefully be improved versions of the stories.
This is all in anticipation of my novel, which I am still waiting to hear back about and will likely focus on over the summer as I write my second (and possibly third -- since it has already been brainstormed and actually already exists in the form of a screen play. The screenplay itself is only like 30 pages, but, with the amount of detail I am adding, it will be over 50,000 words, or so I have calculated). I have a fourth book idea too, but I am not that crazy. That I will save for the following year. Actually I have a great back file of ideas and possibilities.
Anyways, it's that time of year, whether you're Irish (or, as in my case, only part Irish), or even not Irish at all, to get out the Jameson, Bailey's, Guiness, etc. and get fucked up while listening to The Pogues (Yeah, that's right, Flogging Molly and the Dropkick Murphys ain't got shit on the Pogues)!
Happy St. Patty's weekend!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Bad Gabe, BAD!!! Okay...
I have been neglectful (<-- according to Android I just made up that word) about this blog lately and I apologize to anyone who cares. I have more things going than I have time to do. I guess that's what it is like being ambitious.
Seriously, though, if I can get my writing career going and also get into grad school, then I will have more time to work on my writing projects. I would love to be able to focus full time as a writer, and I feel teaching is an extension of that. That's why I need to be back in school. Well, that and it is a more guaranteed way of earning an income.
Still, though, I can dream about being a professional writer and work towards setting myself up for such. Maybe I will not be successful, but at least I will be able to say tried.
Plus, I have been working on my book, and, the closer to being done, the more excited I get about it. I have come up with a killer name and re-worked the chapters so there are fewer and they fall in natural breaks in the story. I'm also changing the names to the final names, developing the characters entirely, sewing together the threads that build the many layers of ideas, and editing out unnecessary parts/characters to make it more tightly focused. It's a process. Once I am happy with the story then I will focus on the words: I will line edit thoroughly.
Well, that's about all. Also, wish me luck on the GRE.
Toodles!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Late for Work
I swerved through traffic my radio blasting Marilyn Manson as the person in the car I just ripped past gave me the finger. I couldn't be late, not again. My boss had made that clear. If I was late again I would be out on the street without a job.
I pressed down on the accelerator when I came to a stretch of a clearing in the left lane. Five more minutes down the highway and I would make it. I could do it in three if I really pushed it. Hopefully I wouldn't run into any cops, or get cut off by some shlub or anything.
Is the job really worth getting a speeding ticket or getting into an accident, though? Surely I need a job, but at what cost? What the hell was I even doing working there? A couple generations ago, a person with an English degree probably would not have had to settle indefinitely for a job at a restaurant. An education used to mean something back then -- even one in the humanities. What happened?
I thought about it, and the more I did, subconsciously, the slower I went. Before I realized it, I was holding up traffic. The first opportunity I had I got over in the slow lane behind a semi. If I was late, I would be late, whatever happened, I would let fate decide.





