Changes

I come back in from smoking a cigarette (the stress of the end of the semester inflames my nicotine addiction, what can I say?) and Changes by Black Sabbath is playing.  It took me a moment to realize that's what it was (it was in the middle of an instrumental break) because it was so beautiful.

It really brought my mind into the present.  I have been so focused on these papers and my book and my career and the future that I have neglected the beauty of the moment.  I guess it is on my mind because I just wrote a paper on the present tense in fiction and particularly in Rabbit, Run, because it really fits how I view my life for the most part, from the only point in time where I have any direction control over my actions and the immediate effects of those actions, and I have time to seriously consider future actions.

Next song I hear two Beatles songs in a row.  They have like 10 albums on the playlist so it's not uncommon for me to hear more than one.  First it was... "Get Back" from Past Masters Volume II and then it was "Don't Pass Me" by from The Beatles ("The White Album").

That's what for me is so enjoyable about music, particularly playing guitar, but also really just sitting and listening to and absorbing the music.  It is something that one can only fully appreciate if one is focused on the present moment of the music.  That is the kind of music that appeals to me anyway.  I don't want to hear background noise.  I want to hear intelligent articulation, whether through vocals or instrumentals or whatever.

Anyways, I think, what I am trying to get across, in a very obtuse way, I fully admit, is that music makes me happy.  Walking into my office to finish my final paper and happening to catch the beauty of the song really inspired me to appreciate life.  It is something that I and most people, for that matter, probably take for granted.

This is The Amboy Dukes featuring Ted Nugent.  Nice.

Now the sun is shining.

In a few short hours I will be done with my last paper of the semester.

God that sun is bright.

In a few short hours I will be able to relax and sit back and reflect where I am right now and relax and let the pieces to my brain fall back to the earth to my skull.  I will get myself together then.  And also, make several big steps towards the future.

I take a deep breath and hit "publish" and then close the window to the Internet and maximize Word and get back to work (I am already two pages in!  Hot damn!  I could finish it early and get out the wine and celebrate!)

The future.