|Photo by Sarah Gott. Taken at The Kurt Vonnegut Museum & Library in Indianapolis.|
These days, I am not good about even doing it once a month, which is sad, because I used to get a lot of enjoyment out of writing these things. I guess, people change. Interests change. It became less important than other things. After all, I do have a real job now.
Having these first eleven days of my fellowship off from that real job, though, has reminded me of what I used to be like before everything got so fucking serious all the time. What it's like to make everyday life more fun. Doing things that I enjoy doing. I don't mean, like, content doing, but like, am really, really passionate about doing. Not the career, but the things that drive me.
That's one thing that I needed, I think, from this experience. Getting paid to write this thing (or these things, rather, might be more appropriate at this stage) has been a great experience. I only wish I could figure out how to do it more regularly. You know, not just make it a thing that I do, but the thing.
Hell, that might never happen. That doesn't mean I have to let the dream die, though.
My life is about to change in a big way, and I can't go into more detail than that right now, but I can assure you it's a good kind of change. The kind of thing that makes me evaluate what about myself I want to carry forward, and what is better off being left behind.
Suffice it to say, it's an on-going process.
Being a writer, and a musician, though, are things that I can never lose. They are the basic building blocks of my identity, at this point: I am an artist.
Honestly, I think the world needs more of us.