Why does it have to be so hard to find full-time employment? It would be one thing if I didn't have any prospects, but, the fact is, I have had some interest, have gone on some interviews, and still... Nothing. It's hard not to take it personally.
It's really difficult to "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" when you are working hard and trying to make the right decisions and are still falling short somehow. It's hard to have faith in something that seems less and less likely as time progresses. It's hard to continue working hard when it just seems to be taking me back to the same place, over and over and over again.
Am I just stuck being a mediocre teacher working part-time at three different schools just to barely make ends meet? Am I just always going to be poor and never able to pay all of my bills, save up any money, and purchase a house?
I know I have probably said this before, but I believe it now more than ever: the American Dream is a lie; it always has been, and it always will be as long as the powers that be remain the same. When you are born into poverty, no matter how hard you work, only the outliers and the extremely lucky make it, and the rest of us will continue drowning, no matter what.
One can only be crushed by disappointment and shame so many times and keep going. One can only be rejected so many times before he just says "fuck it" and walks away.
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