My name is Mud. And I have written a book. Now I am in the process of trying to force myself to edit it, and the eight short stories I have to finish. Just sitting there. On my desktop. Beckoning to me.
I SHOULD finish them. I CAN finish them. I just don't. Upwards of five of those stories just need edited or proofread. The other three I could easily finish. Jesus, I have poems too. And two more book ideas, and at least two or three novellas, not to mention a thesis, class papers, and in the somewhat more distant future a dissertation? Fuck me! I have shit to write! It ain't gonna write isself, yo...!
Damn straight it ain't. Hellz yeauuhhhh!!! Dickweed! What's up? I am like tote's writing right now even! That's ridiculous. I should just finish it all so I can move on to the next thing. That would be logical. Yes it would.
Sorry, I will stop talking to myself now.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Artsy Fartsy Mumbo Jumbo part Infinity
The Animals. What a fucking band. Eric Burden... His voice permeates my imagination as I sit here tap, tap, tapping away at my keyboard, "Bring It on Home to Me" blaring over my computer speakers. My diploma, ten years in the earning, of the completion of my bachelor's degree floats on the seafoam green wall above wear my desk seems to float, defying gravity or the depth of my walls out to the vast ocean are not immediately apparent. Just the write amount of tiredness blurs my vision, and for an instant I am floating on the sea, listening to the Animals, now it's "We Gotta Get Out of This Place", which was my theme song when I was holed up in Ashland, a college dropout, looking towards a future that I could not have possibly imagined. But that is all behind me. Back in the mist behind me, just blurred at the edges of my vision, that if I look it will destroy the illusion of my floating, floating, away, towards some distant shore, driven by the power of the books stacked up on either side of me, fueled by my imagination, which has more energy that 1 million suns. Maybe I am in denial, maybe I am blindly ambitious, maybe I am delusional, whatever... It doesn't matter. If I don't try, then it can be guaranteed that nothing will happen, but, I am pursuing my masters, and, eventually, God-willing, my PhD. I read, I absorb, I consider, I write, I edit, write some more, edit some more, ad infinitum... Until I have arrived on the distant shores of my own personalized Atlantis. Here I am, but there I will be. Someday. Not now. But eventually. Slowly but surely I make my way, across these vast waters, guided by these and many, many more words, infinite combinations making sentences of infinite possibilities, guaranteeing, out of that infinitude, I can create anything. I create my future. Relentlessly.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Finishing the Book
What no writing class can tell you, what no writer can really tell you, is how to truly finish a book. It's different from writer to writer, book to book. There is no one single way. It comes to be finished when it decides that it is finished, and no amount of short-cutting will change that -- unless the writer is will to settle for less, and, invariable, most writers who fail, fail because they settle for less.
Maybe that's what separates a writer from a professional writer, or, generally, anyone who has a hobby or a dream from somebody who actually does it for a living. If you want to succeed, you can't settle for less. You have to keep working at it, improving it, be honest with yourself about it -- because, if you aren't, then it you won't be able to accept outside criticism, either -- and eventually (I assume, I hope) you will finish it.
Or you will give up. And I am not willing to do that. Maybe I have a job, maybe I go to school and work towards other goals in my life so I don't starve to death or live in a cardboard box, but I will, whenever I get the chance, I work on it. And I will continue to keep working on it until it tells me that it is done. Anyone who has ever written a book, or even a short story, and been successful at completing it, knows what I am talking about.
When I talk about "being successful" and "being a professional writer" I am not talking about being someone of that stature of Stephen King or Chuck Palahniuk, I am talking about someone who makes a living as a writer (i.e. can pay the bills and have a little bit left over), and probably teaches at a university (or I would even settle for a community college).
My goal is to find a small or a mid-sized publisher, if I am lucky and can actually find an agent who will work with me, and market to a small, but loyal, audience. Maybe not the rock star of the company, but certainly someone who can be counted on to sell books.
I do have a marketing strategy and what-not, and, if I am not able to find someone willing to take me on in this capacity, then I will -- albeit somewhat reluctantly, because it's not ideal - go the self-publishing route, and, because I am cheap, I will probably only publish my work as an e-book. Then I will have to market it myself, and -- seeing as how I have so many engaged readers already -- will probably sell like 5 books.
However, I will keep trying. If it doesn't happen with the first book, then maybe the second, or the third, or the fiftieth. I have no shortage of ideas. As long as my brains still functions and I have means of getting the ideas out, I will continue to pursue it.
That's a promise, for a better or worse, that I will keep until I can no longer keep it. I can't say it will last forever, because nothing in this world lasts forever, but it will last until it no longer can last, and then it will be forgotten, and I will be forgotten, because eventually everybody is forgotten, and since we will probably all kill each other somehow in the next 10-15 years or so, when the human race will realize that it is nothing more than a figment from the imagination of a zit on the ass of a trans-dimensional turtle (I wish I could say that I made that up, but that, minus the trans-dimensional part -- that was my addition -- was actually how my political thought professor, way back when, described the philosophy of Niezche).
Or not. And we will all die of old age or cancer or whatever other disease from the nearly infinite multitude of diseases available out there, chomping at the bit to eradicate the human race one person at a time. Either way, we all die somehow, and I don't know how that will be, and neither doesn't anyone else, although some people can guess more easily than others, but I am not a betting man so I am not going to even think about it. Hopefully it is more entertaining than sad, though, if I had to choose, but anyway, it doesn't matter. The awareness or lack of awareness doesn't make it any more or less true. It is, and will always be...
I am not sure how I have gotten on this tangent. I am sorry for getting all depressing there for a second. I suppose when I am only loosely considering what I am writing two seconds before I write it, my subconscious can direct me towards one topic or another at random -- well, not at random, because it's not random, we just don't truly understand how it works. Anyway, it might have to do with the fact that I am also watching Louie, and, although extremely funny and intelligent, that show can be damn depressing.
Anyway, it doesn't matter. It is what it is, just like anything else. I have control over it, loosely -- the amount anyone has control over anything -- and I am going to leave it as is, for better or worse.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Procrastination: A Means of Accomplishing Alternative (To Schoolwork) Tasks
In an effort to be more consistent in keeping up with this blog, I am going to write little blurbs here and there -- probably out of procrastination, but, hey, I'll take it.
Instead of watching TV or masturbating or getting high, when I procrastinate I tend to write in this blog or work on my book, a short story, or something else along those lines. While it might not be the schoolwork I had intended on doing, I still feel like I am getting something important accomplished.
[Fun with parentheticals ---->] As a wannabe writer (I can't call myself just a "writer" until I have actually been recognized as such in some way, which I have not. It's like being recognized as a nation.) -- since I am going to school, in effect, to be a better writer and to teach writing on some level or at least some aspect of the English language -- I feel it is important to take my writing and all that encompasses being a writer (including having a solid, consistent online presence).
Again, I fully recognize that I might just be delusional, either way this is a fun experimentation with A). honesty (i.e. my nonsensical ramblings/stream of conscience bullshit), B). sex appeal (for those who find ambition sexy, grrrrowwwllll) C). alternative perspectives (from the mainstream go to school, get any job, make money, buy a house, get married, have 18 children, and die perspective) and D). defining oneself (because if I am successful in my pursuits it will define me one way, where-as if I am unsuccessful, it will define me in another).
For the record, too, I am not saying there is anything wrong with anyone else's specific social context in differing from my own, it is just not my own, and I am not going to apologize for being different. I don't feel like I should. With the stagnation of median wages as compared to the consistent increase of the cost of living, I would be foolish not to play multiple hands, to give myself multiple possibilities, including those of my dreams, and, besides,even if I fail, I will be better off for having tried, because it's always better to regret something you have done than you haven't done (if you are willing to submit to a Butthole Surfers sort of logic).
And with that, I will leave you with the Butthole Surfers, "Sweatloaf" (if you can't hear anything at first, that's okay, you're not supposed to, just keep listening).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYGoougMHSQ
Instead of watching TV or masturbating or getting high, when I procrastinate I tend to write in this blog or work on my book, a short story, or something else along those lines. While it might not be the schoolwork I had intended on doing, I still feel like I am getting something important accomplished.
[Fun with parentheticals ---->] As a wannabe writer (I can't call myself just a "writer" until I have actually been recognized as such in some way, which I have not. It's like being recognized as a nation.) -- since I am going to school, in effect, to be a better writer and to teach writing on some level or at least some aspect of the English language -- I feel it is important to take my writing and all that encompasses being a writer (including having a solid, consistent online presence).
Again, I fully recognize that I might just be delusional, either way this is a fun experimentation with A). honesty (i.e. my nonsensical ramblings/stream of conscience bullshit), B). sex appeal (for those who find ambition sexy, grrrrowwwllll) C). alternative perspectives (from the mainstream go to school, get any job, make money, buy a house, get married, have 18 children, and die perspective) and D). defining oneself (because if I am successful in my pursuits it will define me one way, where-as if I am unsuccessful, it will define me in another).
For the record, too, I am not saying there is anything wrong with anyone else's specific social context in differing from my own, it is just not my own, and I am not going to apologize for being different. I don't feel like I should. With the stagnation of median wages as compared to the consistent increase of the cost of living, I would be foolish not to play multiple hands, to give myself multiple possibilities, including those of my dreams, and, besides,even if I fail, I will be better off for having tried, because it's always better to regret something you have done than you haven't done (if you are willing to submit to a Butthole Surfers sort of logic).
And with that, I will leave you with the Butthole Surfers, "Sweatloaf" (if you can't hear anything at first, that's okay, you're not supposed to, just keep listening).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYGoougMHSQ
Thursday, August 30, 2012
News Update (from 7/17/12, although I am just now getting to post it because I am a lazy asshole)
Well, it's been a while since I last posted, and it's because I am a lazy bastard. Sorry. I don't know how many people actually read this, but it doesn't really matter. I would like to build an audience, but it is a slow process since I am working on finishing up my main selling point, my novel, Outside the Garden. I also have around six or maybe seven short stories, some essays, and even some poems to publish, but I would like to get them published in legitimate literary journals, whether online or in print. This is also a long process since I have to have high standards with my writing, and literary journals won't publish garbage -- any ones worth getting published in, anyhow.
Since it doesn't need to be a secret, I do have a strategy to build an audience, so, if you are one of the five or so people reading this (??), you heard it here first. If I am merely just delusional and I never go anywhere with my writing, then this will be entertaining in a train wreck sort of way. Either way, I hope I inform or entertain whoever happens upon reading this blog. Anyway, back to the point: my strategy.
First of all, I am going to finish rewriting/editing everything. This is the hard part -- I think. Next, I am going to start fishing for literary journals, using the handy dandy tool Duotrope's Digest, which is like the Writer's Market, only free. It's really great, if you are a writer, you should give it a try. They have a lot of different publications listed, more than I have ever been able to go through. You can search through them, enter your criteria, find a journal compatible with your writing style and all that.
After I find journals that I match my criteria: ones that publish literary fiction and satire, essays, or poetry, have a decent-sized audience, and also do book reviews* (this is key for the latter part of my plan, folks), then I will read them to figure out what fits where, follow the individual guidelines, and send them my work and whatever else they require. Then I wait, either get letters of acceptance or, more likely, rejection, and, if rejection, try again in another market, until I get everything published that I seek to get published.
For those of you who are writers, this whole process -- I am sure -- is not a mystery to you. Sorry if this is redundant.
Once I get some work published, and my book is finished, I will seek an agent to help me find a publisher, preferably a mid-sized one that will give me adequate attention as a writer, will take my ideas into consideration, will allow me to design the look of the product, and so forth, and will help me promote it. I also want a publisher that will focus on ebook promotion as well as print, since ebooks are a growing part of the industry, and I seek to embrace technology rather than dismiss it and want a publisher that is as progressive on the topic as me.
If it just sucks and no one wants to publish it or if just no one wants to publish it because it is too risque or controversial or "not right at this time" or whatever, then I will publish it anyway, on my way, on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, sell it as an e-book. Then I will move on to the next one and the next one and the next one. And more short stories. And whatever the Hell else I feel like writing, however the Hell else I feel like writing it. I will put it out there and see what happens...
...Which is probably what Paul Rubens was thinking just before he...
Since it doesn't need to be a secret, I do have a strategy to build an audience, so, if you are one of the five or so people reading this (??), you heard it here first. If I am merely just delusional and I never go anywhere with my writing, then this will be entertaining in a train wreck sort of way. Either way, I hope I inform or entertain whoever happens upon reading this blog. Anyway, back to the point: my strategy.
First of all, I am going to finish rewriting/editing everything. This is the hard part -- I think. Next, I am going to start fishing for literary journals, using the handy dandy tool Duotrope's Digest, which is like the Writer's Market, only free. It's really great, if you are a writer, you should give it a try. They have a lot of different publications listed, more than I have ever been able to go through. You can search through them, enter your criteria, find a journal compatible with your writing style and all that.
After I find journals that I match my criteria: ones that publish literary fiction and satire, essays, or poetry, have a decent-sized audience, and also do book reviews* (this is key for the latter part of my plan, folks), then I will read them to figure out what fits where, follow the individual guidelines, and send them my work and whatever else they require. Then I wait, either get letters of acceptance or, more likely, rejection, and, if rejection, try again in another market, until I get everything published that I seek to get published.
For those of you who are writers, this whole process -- I am sure -- is not a mystery to you. Sorry if this is redundant.
Once I get some work published, and my book is finished, I will seek an agent to help me find a publisher, preferably a mid-sized one that will give me adequate attention as a writer, will take my ideas into consideration, will allow me to design the look of the product, and so forth, and will help me promote it. I also want a publisher that will focus on ebook promotion as well as print, since ebooks are a growing part of the industry, and I seek to embrace technology rather than dismiss it and want a publisher that is as progressive on the topic as me.
If it just sucks and no one wants to publish it or if just no one wants to publish it because it is too risque or controversial or "not right at this time" or whatever, then I will publish it anyway, on my way, on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, sell it as an e-book. Then I will move on to the next one and the next one and the next one. And more short stories. And whatever the Hell else I feel like writing, however the Hell else I feel like writing it. I will put it out there and see what happens...
...Which is probably what Paul Rubens was thinking just before he...
Gradumacated, Eduicized, and What Not
A wise friend recently told me that if I can gain readers by any means available, whether it's publishing short stories and/or poems in online literary journals, posting fan fiction on sites for such, publishing my book, then I can do whatever I want with this blog, because fans will read it either way. I suppose that is probably true.
However, I do kind of feel like I need a specific format of some sort. The problem is I can't decide what that format should be. I have more or less always just done as I please so maybe I don't need to change it. I did mainly publish short stories on here but, I am seeking other venues for future stories, so I need to put something else here.
I could write about my life, which is what I generally do anyways, in-between random blurbs of nonsense. I do like the nonsense. Maybe it is too much, at times. Okay, so most of the time. It keeps it random, anyways. I do like an aspect of randomness.
Maybe too much randomness is a bad thing. I mean, it gets old after a while, and eventually, inevitably, it will cease to be random, no matter how hard I would try to avoid it. I guess , is the chaos theory at work, or at least my fourth-grade understanding of it. I first read Jurassic Park in the fourth grade, and that is where my basic understanding of chaos theory comes from, so that is how I can justifiably say that it is a fourth-grade understanding of the subject.
Maybe letting it develop into some kind of pattern is a good thing. I mean, I don't want to force it. At least this way it will be natural, or, at least, seem natural. I like the nature of nature, in general. I know people probably think I'm stoned, and, honestly, if I had any, I would be, but I don't, so I am not. Such is life, I suppose.
I know I use commas in places where I could and probably should use other punctuation, but I don't care. This isn't academia, for Christ's sake, and, honestly, I like the fluidity of commas as opposed to dashes, parentheses, and semi-colons for parentheticals and other breaks. I do use colons, but only when it is necessary. I am no Cormac McCarthy, though. I do used quotation marks. While I do appreciate his style, it is not for me. I did love The Road, but I didn't like No Country for Old Men. Well, it was okay. Maybe I will eventually re-read it. I have other things I need to read first...
Like my school work. Although, I am not talking about that. That is a given. I am referring to the ever-increasing library of books literally exploding off of my shelves. I can't buy shelves fast enough to keep up with the volumes of books that I amass. I swear there is some sort of portal from some library or bookstore that directly transports books from there to here, and it only works the one way. Oh wait, there is a portal like that. It's called Amazon.
I need to at least read the books that people have lent me and/or recommended to me. I am currently working on finishing Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson, recommended to me by a very good friend. Another good friend lent me Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson, and, although I am not a fantasy person, normally, I am excited to read it. I also borrowed book 2 of Anne Rice's erotica series about Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment. That was so I could get some idea of what erotica is like so I could maybe venture into it at some point, probably under a pseudonym, or pen name, just to do it. Ha! Who doesn't like sex, I mean, come on, right? I also have The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and it's sequels that I borrowed from my sister-in-law. Then, after I have worked my way through all of those, I can start reading my own books!!!!! Huzzah! Fuck yeah!
Anyways, I have come to the conclusion, as I always do at the end of these things, that this blog will continue to be what it is and always has been, and I won't seek to define it any more than that, until such a time when I do, then I will, and it will be done, and that will be all, like this is all for now!
However, I do kind of feel like I need a specific format of some sort. The problem is I can't decide what that format should be. I have more or less always just done as I please so maybe I don't need to change it. I did mainly publish short stories on here but, I am seeking other venues for future stories, so I need to put something else here.
I could write about my life, which is what I generally do anyways, in-between random blurbs of nonsense. I do like the nonsense. Maybe it is too much, at times. Okay, so most of the time. It keeps it random, anyways. I do like an aspect of randomness.
Maybe too much randomness is a bad thing. I mean, it gets old after a while, and eventually, inevitably, it will cease to be random, no matter how hard I would try to avoid it. I guess , is the chaos theory at work, or at least my fourth-grade understanding of it. I first read Jurassic Park in the fourth grade, and that is where my basic understanding of chaos theory comes from, so that is how I can justifiably say that it is a fourth-grade understanding of the subject.
Maybe letting it develop into some kind of pattern is a good thing. I mean, I don't want to force it. At least this way it will be natural, or, at least, seem natural. I like the nature of nature, in general. I know people probably think I'm stoned, and, honestly, if I had any, I would be, but I don't, so I am not. Such is life, I suppose.
I know I use commas in places where I could and probably should use other punctuation, but I don't care. This isn't academia, for Christ's sake, and, honestly, I like the fluidity of commas as opposed to dashes, parentheses, and semi-colons for parentheticals and other breaks. I do use colons, but only when it is necessary. I am no Cormac McCarthy, though. I do used quotation marks. While I do appreciate his style, it is not for me. I did love The Road, but I didn't like No Country for Old Men. Well, it was okay. Maybe I will eventually re-read it. I have other things I need to read first...
Like my school work. Although, I am not talking about that. That is a given. I am referring to the ever-increasing library of books literally exploding off of my shelves. I can't buy shelves fast enough to keep up with the volumes of books that I amass. I swear there is some sort of portal from some library or bookstore that directly transports books from there to here, and it only works the one way. Oh wait, there is a portal like that. It's called Amazon.
I need to at least read the books that people have lent me and/or recommended to me. I am currently working on finishing Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson, recommended to me by a very good friend. Another good friend lent me Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson, and, although I am not a fantasy person, normally, I am excited to read it. I also borrowed book 2 of Anne Rice's erotica series about Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment. That was so I could get some idea of what erotica is like so I could maybe venture into it at some point, probably under a pseudonym, or pen name, just to do it. Ha! Who doesn't like sex, I mean, come on, right? I also have The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and it's sequels that I borrowed from my sister-in-law. Then, after I have worked my way through all of those, I can start reading my own books!!!!! Huzzah! Fuck yeah!
Anyways, I have come to the conclusion, as I always do at the end of these things, that this blog will continue to be what it is and always has been, and I won't seek to define it any more than that, until such a time when I do, then I will, and it will be done, and that will be all, like this is all for now!
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