Numbness. Perhaps it is just my mind's way of dealing with stress, keeping me from getting too overwhelmed by the stress of teaching fifteen credit hours--I don't know. If that is the case, it is working. I am getting through. I am surviving.
It is certainly not what I had in mind for my life. But I am adapting. I am making it work. I am not giving up on anything, just biding my time until something more secure and better paying comes along. I hope to reach a point where I can actually take the time to seek out new opportunities. Perhaps I need to make the time.
Music, as always, has helped me to make it through. I find myself listening and playing an increasing amount. It is one of the few things that breaks through the numbness and reminds me that I still have the muscle in my chest pushing life through my body.
Writing is hard for me right now. Maybe it's due to over-exposure. I am getting better at editing though, so I guess that is a bonus.
That is not to say that I am not working on anything. I do have some surprises up my sleeve, and my second novel is never very far from my thoughts. I have worked on it a little, but obviously it's not my priority right now--although, I wish it was. Maybe someday...
The surprises I can't reveal yet, but I feel like people will be genuinely happy to hear about them when I do feel at liberty to tell people. I find that I need to keep things closer to me, because when I start to talk about them they begin to lose their potency.
Hopefully, the numbness fades over Winter Break, and I can find my creative energies. Until then, I will keep on keepin' on, and hope for the best.
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