It's time. To break out of this rut. This book, which I have put more love and thought into than any other project I have ever done.
It has been ten years, and I have thought about it, and reworked it, and thought about it, and reworked it...and finally released it, only to second guess it and go back and start reworking it again.
I don't regret doing so, and I hope people really give it a chance and like it.
I just want people to read it and like and get roughly what I was doing with it, and see that I have room to continue growing as a writer and that I can accomplish something that has been a long and challenging commitment.
It might not be much, it might be nothing on the grand scope of life, but it is my little something, and I hope that people see that and appreciate it.
It is more compact, and I have thought through every stylistic and creative decision and made sure that I have incorporated every good idea and taken each to its furthest extent.
When I have the money, I am going to buy a bunch and give them away to family, friends, and whoever shows interest.
I am going to make sure that anyone who just appreciates reading and storytelling and local artists who are working hard for no money trying to make something concrete and physical out of brainwaves and determination, I am going make sure those people get copies.
Whatever happens, will happen, and I am not any longer going to live in the past, and keep over-thinking it.
It's time to be done with it and to move forward and to commit myself to a new job and a new career and a new project.
It's time to move forward, into the unknown, out of my comfort zone, out of anxiety and second-guessing, and going back to the same old wreck.
It's time to challenge myself in new ways, with new ideas, and new commitments.
It's time to transform my goals from impulses into realizations.
The best way to get excited about the future, even the mundane, everyday, ordinary, reality that life becomes, is to close your eyes, dream of some possibility, and figure out how to make the abstract concrete.
You never know what can happen.
Sometimes dreams come true in unimaginable ways, and you just have to embrace however it happens, and enjoy it while it lasts, and have no regrets.
The difference between people who enjoy life and people who are miserable is that the people who enjoy life know that it is all a state of mind, and even in the worst circumstances, if you have survived with a pleasant state of mind, you have made it.
It's not easy. It's really not. I struggle with it every day. But just because it is a struggle, it doesn't mean that it is not worth the effort.
You can't control every circumstance in life, in fact, you can control very little, but you can control you, and so that's what you have to do.
That's what I am trying to do, anyways. That's all I have every been able to do, or really, anyone can do. That's just life.