Friday, April 18, 2014

Top Five Top Lists from the Interwebs

Lists are everywhere around the Internet these days.  From Buzzfeed to the Washington Post, it is hard to get through the day without reading some kind of ranking of something.  Who are the top ten celebrities with eating disorders, you wonder?  I am sure there is a list out there to fulfill your curiosity.  I don't know whether it's a cultural need to put random things in some sort of arbitrary order, or what, but I kind of hope it's a fad that will eventually die out--although, with the Internet, things never really die out for very long, just look at those quizzes that pop up every six months or so.  Anyways, I am certainly fascinated with this phenomenon, and I hear it helps bring in readers, so I have shamelessly decided to put together my own list, a list of lists--the list of lists, in fact:

Top Five Top Lists from the Interwebs

5. The Richest: "10 Things You Didn't Know About Disneyland"

I have never heard of this website, but I am guessing by the name that it is not for poor people?  I guess that makes sense, since you have to about be rich to afford to get into Disneyland or Disney World.  I have never been to either, but these sorts of lists always fascinate me, especially since most of the time, I know most of the facts that I am not supposed to know.  That's one thing that I do like about this list--I didn't know any of these "facts".  I don't exactly feel enlightened, though.  One thing I really hate about sites like this with lists: you have to watch out for the ads that have arrows in them to make it look like you are supposed to click on the arrows to keep following the list--you savvy bastards.

4. "22 Shocking Celebrities Who Used to Be Young & Hot"

As if the name of their website wasn't pretentious enough, these people actually have the gall to point out that people age!  Shocking, I know, right?  I guess this list blows my theory that all celebrities are actually robots.  Actually, they could still be robots.  They could get refitted every few years to keep up the illusion.  Either way, this is one of those lists where you click through the pictures on the same page, rather than having to follow like fifty links or having to scroll down the page--how annoying, right?

3. Mental Floss: "12 Directors Who Hated Their Own Movies"

Probably not the first list like this, probably not the last.  Probably picked randomly as the next list I came across.  Okay, so maybe this list is more like the first five lists I found.  Still, though, this list has a certain something that makes it stand out.  Oh wait, I follow Mental Floss on Facebook.  Yeah, that's probably it.

2. The Huffington Post: "Top 50 Successful Marijuana Users Who Prove the Person Matters More than the Plant"

It's no secret that the Huffington Post supports marijuana legalization, so it's no surprise that they would make a list about this issue.  I am sure it is not the only one, but, like many of the stoners who would read this, I am too lazy to actually commit to the amount of research it would take to actually prove this without a doubt.  This particular list shows how many hypocrites there are in politics, people that dictate what the rest of us should be doing, but have done the exact opposite themselves.  And, wait, hold up, Snoop Lion has smoked pot?  What?

1. Rolling Stone: "1994: The Top 40 Best Records From Mainstream Alternative's Best Year"

Rolling Stone is not one to shy away from making lists, but, maybe because I am a big music nerd, I don't usually mind their lists as much.  This is a actually good list, although I don't think the order necessarily matters.  Actually, it doesn't.  The order in none of these matter, because they don't matter, they are...  Distractions?  Yeah, that sounds about right.  I actually read this one through, though...  Oh wait, I mean, I read them all...  Or did I?  Did I really read them?  Is this list for real?  As real as any other list, I guess...  That's not a very solid answer, though.

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